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Cloud 23

 

 




 


Date: My birthday
Location: Cloud 23.

Beetham Tower. Manchester UK.

 

 

 

 

 


and up in the sky bar
people walked by
up in the sky bar
I looked at the sky

I looked to the left
and you caught my eye

I knew you weren't there
but still I could see
up in the sky bar
you next to me

 

 

 



Up in the sky bar
I longed for your lips
your gentle embrace
your tender sweet kiss...

 

 

 



and up in the sky bar
I looked at the sky
watching the view
a tear filled my eye

up in the sky bar
feeling so blue
I was up in the sky bar


thinking
of you...

 

 

 

 

 

(Dedicated to someone special)

 

 

Author notes

The sky bar is located on the 23rd floor of Beetham Tower. Beetham tower is in Manchester UK. I went to the sky bar for my Birthday.

For the contest option: this is a response to the quote on the open page of the diary.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • davidwright silver member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    A romantic adventure where was I. Nice poem indeed.
    Thanks for being a contestant and happy trails

  • YoureNoGoodForMe gold member
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    Ahmazing. I loved this :] It was very deep and beautiful. A very great read.

    "I longed for your lips
    your gentle embrace
    your tender sweet kiss..."

    Some of my favorite lines. Love the "..." At the end, as if you're losing yourself in your thoughts. Incredible :] Thanks for entering<3

    Oh, and could you please put the option number in your author's notes? Thank you =)

  • Side Salad
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the fact it was so personal, with being mawkish or in anyone predictable - you made a seemingly unorignal sentiment seem very original and personal.

    Again, interesting angle you take in the writing.

    James
    xx


    • Blankscreen2222 gold member
      June 1
      Edit | Reply
      I don't tend to write much blatently obvious love stuff but somehow this one just sneaked out! (lol).
      Thanks again for such kind comments.
  • Atrus
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    So many entries in my contest have been about a big object... it was an unexpected delight to open up this poem and see that the big object is the setting for the focus of the poem, which is really this loved one not being there. It was through the repetition of the line "up in the sky bar" that I started feeling the loneliness of the poem. Great poem and good luck in the contest

  • Sprite silver member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    I love the flow and the gentle rhyme of this poem. The repetition is very effective here. But for a Birthday poem, it is quite sad. Missing those we love is difficult, especially on occasions like this. ~ Joyce


  • Swan song gold member
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding purely outstanding!!!!


  • The Poetic Angel gold member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    nice place to spend you birfday... they dont got donkeys there tho lmao

    great write



    xxx cheeky xxx


  • basilisk
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    Such a melencholy birthday. The sky wasn't the only thing blue.

    Here's looking at you, kid.

1 - 9 of 9