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Killing Superman

You see the fake smiles that I am forced to wear.
You see unusual strength that really isn't there.

You see all the confidence shaken to its core.
You see a man before you an emotional whore.

What I’ve allowed to be seen is not what I may be.
I’ve given it all to others, there’s nothing left of me.

So take out your knives, cut away what you need.
Torn now to pieces, some cut just to see me bleed.

A hand to those who lack, a shoulder to those who cry,
My heart to those who’re broken, my will to those who’ll try.

Emotionally I’m dead, not feeling my own pain;
Its others that I feel and it’s driving me insane.

But here still I stand offering what I can;
Giving it all to others, to end it not the plan.

Now what I don’t deserve, is what you think of me;
Your glorified opinions, I'm not all that you see.

But all you’ve thought and seen, what all I’ve made you think;
It’s been my own decisions that’s pushed me to the brink.

I’ll try to be the same for those that are in need;
I’ll help you on your way and wish you all god speed.

And for those who think I’m worthy of a fan.
I’m setting the record strait, I am no superman.

Author notes

When I wrote this I was going through a rough period. I felt betrayed and used by a lot of people and I was just coming out of a relationship that was very rough on me. This poem really is my anthem. Its me so much to the point that I've used the title of this poem in screen-names and such. It was written March 15th 2008

PoeticusVeritas

Option:B "No one will take away what I never had"

In a list

A contest entry

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Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 54 of 54

  • Slicks78
    June 22
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    I truly loved this piece. Maybe it is where I am at right now in my life, but I can relate to so much of this. Giving until you've given too much, helping and lending to a fault - and sometimes you come to notice you're giving pieces of yourself away when it is too late.

    Beautifully written, not forced and worded with great care. Thank you for opening yourself up and allowing others to read this work.

    B.T.W I love your screen name. Poetic Truth.. Veritas, holds a special place in my heart as well.


  • Slip Slidin Away
    June 22
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    Have I commented on this one before? Well I really loved this poem. Perfectly expressed from start to finish. Thank you for entering my contest.


    • PoeticusVeritas gold member
      June 22
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      I'm not sure. You ahve probably read it before as it is one of my best poems and I'm not afraid to tell people so.

  • sassykitty
    June 20
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    I really like the way you use couplets to communciate your feelings and some of the imagery is particularly impressive - 'an emotional whore' is an extremely powerful image, and one I think we can all relate to. I also like the way your honesty shines through, we should all be who we are and not what we think others want us to be, but of course that's easier said than done. Thanks for sharing such an honest and heartfelt write. Good luck in the contest.

  • XXVampireeyesXX silver member
    June 18

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    well thta title is intruiguing and somehow quite funny.. the poem is excuisitein rhyme... even though you cursed in one line.. it still feels good... I will allow you this because I enjoyed the poem specially this lines;

    Emotionally I’m dead, not feeling my own pain;
    Its others that I feel and it’s driving me insane.

    thank you for entering and best luck in life!


    • PoeticusVeritas gold member
      June 18
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      I cursed? Where? But I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comment and compliment.

  • Lowercase Prelude gold member
    June 12

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    once i started reading this, i couldn't stop. very well penned poem. and the imagery behind your words (i.e. "Torn now to pieces, some cut just to see me bleed.") is excellent.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x Greeters member
    June 10

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    the first stanzas are amazing as they just hold something amazing and eally gripped me to continue reading this piece of work.its just powerful and meaningful with so much well done

    • PoeticusVeritas gold member
      June 10
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      Thank You. This was a tough piece to write but I am happy with the way it turned out.

  • FightOffYourDemons
    June 8

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    The first two stanzas really blew me away. They seem so carefully put together and they really drew my attention. The poem shows of your clearly strong artistic ability. Some of the stanzas aren't as good and some seem unnecessary but most are very well written as well. I think one of the reasons that I like this poem so much is that I can really relate to people using you to the point were you just feel so tired and used up. and then they give you nothing in return. My advice is that if the whole situation isn't already worked out you really need ot tell the person or persons to fuck off and that sometimes you need yourself more than they do. And all that good stuff.
    I like your poem.
    good job

    • PoeticusVeritas gold member
      June 8
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      I think most people feel used in one way or another and can relate to this piece. I think it is why it is one of my more popular poems. Thank you for reading it though and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  • ladame
    May 28

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    Very nicely implented. The rhyming couplets don't themselves to the context, in my opinion. Some of your words are very beautiful, and carefully-chosen.
    The metaphor of strength is brilliant, and so are the words "emotional whore" - I love that expression. If you read my soon-to-be-realised poetry, I may have to slip it in, referencing your poem, of course.

    Thank you very much for sharing your heartfelt piece with me. Sarah


    • PoeticusVeritas gold member
      May 28
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      You dont have to reference it. Its not really that big a deal to me. But I am glad you enjoyed the poem. I'll keep an eye out on your poetry.

  • Luna Tique Fringe gold member
    May 22

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    It's a sweet little confessional type piece, a bit too long, in my opinion. I seemed to loose interest about half way through. On the up side, you do write with quite good rhythm, and for the most part the rhyme seems natural. So good on you. Thanks for entering.

    • PoeticusVeritas gold member
      May 25
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      Thanks and yes i've been told that my poems can be long sometimes. Its hard to just stop writing sometimes.

  • emotionXxXoverload
    May 22

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    wow.
    this is so beautifully written.
    people may mistake you, but there is no denying that you can write an amazing poem!

  • XPandyxFangirlX
    May 21

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    ... Wow...
    This was stunning. It was amazing. This is definitely a great way to get your feelings out from all the tough times you've been going through. I'm sorry.

    A hand to those who lack, a shoulder to those who cry,
    My heart to those who’re broken, my will to those who’ll try.

    This was terrific, I could feel the emotion pouring out of this piece. I wish you the best of luck in this contest.

    ~Pandy


  • apoeticinjustice
    May 20

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    my first impression is that this reflects a certain amount of co-dependency, which is something I've had to deal with myself. Obviously, this is a very personal write, and one that exudes emotion and deep thoughts. An enjoyable read.
    Rory

  • fantasylandthinker01
    May 19
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    wow this is emotionallly good... i loved it

  • Cerbie20
    May 18
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    wow, that was really strong and emotional... a lot of pain. good job though!


  • B Chandler gold member
    May 18
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    Believe it or not, you just wrote a couple 'sonnet'. Good read btw

  • Juggalo38
    May 18
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    Wow, just Wow, I was really caught up in it and I really liked it


  • flowerprobingalien
    May 18
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    This is really good. great write and the emotion is very well felt. Keep up the good work. :

  • Gwenevere
    May 18

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    It has to be there to be taken and I can feel strength underneath your words.I hope you have re-built it all now.Keep it safe and save some for yourself this time.Good heartfelt poem, Ros


  • Poetic Tasha silver member
    May 18
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    great write hun....I think we all have an element of us like t his. i am definately like this with my RL friends and i find some poor stranger like you willing to listen....learn to say no would ya


    Tasha


  • Slip Slidin Away
    May 18
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    You could have written this about me! It is exactly the way that I feel to sometimes. From first line, to the last line, I related whole-heartedly. We all feel this way at times though... especially when there are so many users and pretenders out there... zapping our superpowers from us LOL

    I hope you still don't feel this way... just realise that for every fake there's some one who genuinely appreciates your poetry and your friendship.




  • The-missing-pieces
    May 18

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    wow

    great word usage.. emotion pushed hard.. it holds a stong image of what you are saying. and it ended perfectly.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 18

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    A wonderful, heart written poem, expressing your inner feelings very well. That's the only problem with having a large and loving heart is that people take advantage of you, always.
    In some peoples eyes you will always be a 'Superman', just stop wearing the cape and tights and only those you want to know, will know.

    From one fan, but I'll make no demands...Sue


  • Angelflower Greeters member
    May 18

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    GIVE SUPERMAN CPR!!!! you did a wonderful job hun.. You really expressed yourself.. and I think that besides the poem about your son this is one of the most "personal" of all your poems that I have read.. You did wonderful.. great write..

    Angel

  • Pretty Britty gold member
    May 18
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    As you already know, I like this poem.
    Well done yadda yadda yadda

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