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Confusion(confusing)

Every letter piled upon words
constant thoughts struck by life itself
sketches of perfection
burnt years ago in the fire
new lessons to add sentences
new words to add songs
nothing makes sense
confusion fills my mind
and every inch of the world

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Sharcu silver member
    May 30, 2008

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    Wow, for being 15 and writing poetry better than most adults, you really have something going for you. Short, but full of emotions and poetic techniques. You did a fantastic job and I hope you are proud of your talent

    --Tim


    • Midgetbridgey
      May 30, 2008

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      wow this is the best comment i have EVER received!!!
      It just made my year!
      THANK YOU !!!!

      • Sharcu silver member
        May 31, 2008
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        Don't anyone ever tell you otherwise

        --Tim

  • dx d by me
    May 27, 2008

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    I tend to like expressive "interactive" poetry. This is very strong, in that it is compacted upon itself. So, the fact that it seems crowded together, is a good thing. It gives the feeling, of the confusion the author is writing about. I think you could drop the parenthetical "(confusing)" becasue it is not confusing at all. It is effective, that is something different all together. Let the title speak for itself and introduce the reader to the author's intent. The rush of images the content brings is another very good thing. The last line is terrific. You made the message of the piece universal by broadening the scope of your thoughts from you personally, to anyone reading the piece. Nicely done!


  • Gagiikwe
    May 25, 2008

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    Negative but articulate

    Yes, indeed, the world can be a confusing place for a teenager!
    I enjoyed each line, as it brought various experiences or historical incident to mind.
    You might think about what punctuation you could have used to enhance the meaning and impact of your poem.
    Also, if you were trying for free verse, without punctuation, you might consider only capitalising the first letter of line 1, and leaving everything else lower case.
    Either way, it would be more emphatic.

    JG


  • greatperhaps
    May 18, 2008
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    I agree, this poem is confusing! But I like it. I like the imagery and the use of words as things. Wait, so do the words not make sense? Are they burned beyond recognition? Very thought provocking. Oh, but I don't like the "and every inch of the world" soooooooooo cliched!

1 - 7 of 7