Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Better Off

I would be better off if you were dead

The wounds ripped open
They just wont heal
The pain that I feel
Just wont conjeal

Infected my heart
Invaded my head
  Yeah baby
I would be better off if you wre dead

    If you had died while you still cared
    Then all I'd remember is the love we shared
    Instead you forced us apart
    How shall I console my shattered heart

Look in your eyes
I feel the love lost
I want to hold you again
Like I did so many times before

Those years have passed
Relentless sorrow my cost
To the ground my tears crash
Because you only walked out the door

I would be better off if you were dead

    If you had died while you still cared
    Then all I'd remember is the love we shared
    Instead you forced us apart 
    How shall I console my shattered heart

Baby, I'd be better off if you were dead




Author notes

This is the first set of lyrics wich I intend to write music for as well. This is only the first draft so be brutal, how else can I improve?

Be honest and critical. This is a first draft

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Summer Dawn
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i thought it read great and w/o reading the notes beforehand it read like a tune and had its own rhyme to it even tho it wasnt all rhyme. guess just saying it all worked really well together. i thought this was the full thing. not sure how more would fit in. great flowwww.