She is right there
Calling out for help
I can help her
I want to help
But my legs just won't move
Is it my legs that won't move
Or is it my heart
Will my heart not let me save her
She is on the verge of the most difficult enemy to battle alone
A monster that finds its way in through a series of things
A monster whose name is depression
But she shouldn't have to do it alone
I can help her
But my heart itself is cocooned in a shell of isolation
My heart is fighting
It is raging to burst out
Break the walls and be a hero to someone who desperately needs one
For that is my job
This is my duty
But why can't I go
I would need someone to help me
Her mentality is going to break
But her heart has broken way before this
Broken by a past of neglect
Neglect that can be traced back to her very home
To a family that threw her away
Where it is easy for someone to lose faith
But, miraculously she still holds faith
She deserves it more than more than anyone
But my heart still won't move
It is scared, terrified, and petrified
And everything in between
I feel guilty just sitting here
Let me move
Let me help
Let me put an end to a persons world of neglect
I can be a savior
This is my chance so let me take it
Please let me take it
Before she falls
Come on heart move
Author notes
Author: Jake Brantley
A contest entry
- Anything you wish by thepoetssoul.
1000 points, ended May 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of the VAMP and WOLF kinds (actually everyone) ^-^ by tehzeeb.
340 points, ended June 11, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poet's Choice III by Luna Tique Fringe.
1750 points, ended May 25, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites But NO "fresh" writes by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended June 6, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by vampireprincess.
315 points, ended June 25, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So many options you just might die....After you enter this contest please!~ by SmartBrick.
300 points, ended June 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? If you see something wrong tell me.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i love it *sniff* *sniff*
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i loved it it's perfect i've been there i've seen what no person every needs to see it's sad
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opps..you've entered this four times..I'll have to skip this one ..rules are rules, sorry.
Listen to ecrivain, he knows his stuff. -
Not bad ...
but your punctuation is not good. Not using punctuation is one thing (although a thing I dislike), but capitalization is punctuation, so you have partial punctuation, which doesn't work here. The rule is all or none. Even cummings knew that.
Not that I was a fan of his writing, but I've read enough of it. You can salvage your entry by fixing the punctuation. Otherwise, it will have to go. -
You've captured the struggle to help someone so well.I found myself wrapped up within your weaving of words
Truly a great piece of poetry.Thanks for the entry and best of wishes to you
Tony
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wow
this is very, very good... *clap* keep up the good work!
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What a beautiful piece. I liked the creativity in this. I hope that it does move. Nicely done and good luck in the contest.
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wow beautifully done jake....may i ask your inspiration for this poem?
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