He had glimpsed
the dim center of himself
he knew it was in there somewhere
curled up tight, a coiled spring
waiting for the trigger, flash point
so he ignored the doubting words he’d heard
the jeers inside the why, the sneers
accenting the when; inside he was
certain, striding with the Sun,
attuned to the warmth of its music
even in a sky full of night
when every point was a light
or a light to be, splayed out
across an eternity, too much for the eye
to accept, and imagination stumbled
profoundly humbled; one steadfast light shone true...
and he followed it to the city
~
She had birthed his story
a glorious composition
evolved from figments of audacious youth
to a man worldly wise in ways
she could never surmise;
and she wondered at the art
burning bright just beneath
a patina of worldly expectation
and one night she crossed an alley
bright city streetlight and smoke
from the chestnut vendor and kabob stands
charcoals and sweetness
to see him there,
tie pulled down, shirt collar opened
fingers stroking golden keys
and the upturned alto horn
oozed into heavy air
only his soul could breathe
In a list
A contest entry
- Vines Intertwining - A Collaboration Contest #75 by Winklings.
5250 points, ended July 20, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Congratulations on your award a wonderful poem,
great work,
Blessings,
Frozentearz -
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Thanks very much from both of us!
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"and she wondered at the art
burning bright just beneath
a patina of worldly expectation"
And I am so humbled - brought to tears with truth held in these lines.
Beautifully executed, filled with magic moments - those magic moments - the wonders of being in the place life meant you to be in.
...Deeper than most will see and presented beautifully. You two have penned brilliantly. Well done. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Oh gosh, I just love the raw, open soul you can feel in these lines. There is nothing like music to bring it out and to express it too. The story you have told here of both these souls becomes one magnificent story; memories and potential brought together by the light, the night, and the music into a single beautiful experience. Lots of great things you've done with the language the the phrasing, but the coming together, the fulfillment at the end just outshines it all--and that's really saying something!
Amazing collaboration from two of the bestest!
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I read this poem three times, and tried at best to determine which poet wrote what...I decided to give in. This is what collaborations are all about! No way to tell is so write/right on in my book.
Congratulations on a job well done poets!
I love the resonance of wording, rapid fire wordplay, and the pacing. This could easily be used as a Theatrical monologue. It has peaks and valleys strategically placed for affect.
Absolutely Brilliant!
Leap out at me lines;
"he knew it was in there somewhere
curled up tight, a coiled spring
waiting for the trigger, flash point"
"and she wondered at the art
burning bright just beneath
a patina of worldly expectation"
Gold worthy for sure!
All My LOVE ♥
Renee
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Awww... How sweet! It looks like two of my faves share the same brain. Um... That didn't come out right. Soul is it? Ahhh... What a wonderful write. Thanx for sharing, you two. Write on. One.
Dez
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Thank you Dez-
Yes, I agree Mallie is a very talented writer, just scratching the surface really, I look forward to the works she will do as she continues her path...Thank you from both of us for your wonderful words...so very welcome...PK -
Thank you Renee-
sokmething of a wish fulfilled here in this writing, think you know, and really it would not have mattered so much how it came out, so it is gratifying to hear your words here.. thank you so much...PK
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This is such a wonderful collaboration!
The poem not only has vivid imageries, but has that feel of being warmed by love, not to mention that lovely touch of blues becoming jazz.
I simply loved the line 'She had birthed his story a glorious composition'.
You two must definitely write more collaborations, for this one worked so well.
Kisses to both of you,
Mari
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Thank you Mari-
Yes this was a wonderful experience in this collab and I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Yes I hope we can do this again; so from both of us thanks...h
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Thank you Mallie...
for the honor of writing with you...PK -
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Thank you, the honor was mine!
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Beautifully penned, Poets. Good luck in Ron's contest. Wanda
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Thank you Wanda-
for your kind and generous words , so much appreciated... from the both of us...Thanks...PK
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