Almost feminine at sixteen,
he looks upon the Galway shore
from between crates bound for Halifax
and weeps as Ireland shrinks
away from him.
His hand aches from the
grazing wound that took
the life of Jimmy Blake, his
mate from Sligo where
they grew up
upon the Sligo hills.
The ambush fell apart
when the men in uniforms
shot back at them
and he left Jimmy
limp and pale.
He speaks to Jimmy
through his tears
and prays no one can
see him now –
crying like a child,
running away from Ireland.
Author notes
Free verse. Story poem
A contest entry
- Calling On The Big Dogs Of AP 2008 by blondone.
1375 points, ended May 27, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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A lovely poem you have written here but I have a bit of a problem with judging this one I sent you no prompt all you had to do is reserve your spot with what form you were going to write in then I would have sent you a prompt to write for I am sorry
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Silly, silly me. Thank you for the contest.
Mac
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Wonderfully specific feedback. Thank you so much. This is taken from a true story -- the father of my best friend who fled Ireland at age 16.
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I like the image in the first stanza /as Ireland shrinks away from him/, exactly as I've seen shores from ships. I like /they grew up upon the Sligo hills/ I think the repetition of /up/ gives a great image of growth on growth. The final two lines have resonant internal rhyme and drop off beautifully. You've told a story that goes beyond the page, leaving the reader to dream in the details. Lovely.
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