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Destiny's Flowered Mud Pies


licking lilies,  droplets of serenities
tiny foot steps, dancing the evergreen
she dreams:
little giggles  tiny hands
innocence kiss
she dreams:
of flowered mud pies
and bruised knees
from climbing trees
and watching stars beneath pondering awe
his hand in hers, their destinies
streaming entwined
she dreams:
licking lilies, with droplets of serenities

Author notes

I wish i could paint this, i see it so clearly in my mind. This is from a day dream when i was half asleep

A contest entry

thoughts, suggestions, criticism, ideas, questions? anything?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    November 15, 2008

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    Vivid! Very lovely daydream This reminds me of a little fairy, happy in a world filled with hope and love.

    Beautiful write sister, as always




    AmBeR


  • Symphony
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i was confused by this until i read the authors notes, and - when going back to read it, saw the scene developing before my eyes ; you did a great job of describing it to us, best wishes


  • perfectsunset gold member
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write with lovely imagery and descriptions.
    A treasure to read!

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Blooming Poet
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Okay finally a poem I can try and make better. all your other poems were just too good. but one thing with this poem, the flow is off


  • PrettyxoxPoison
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Maaia.
    I like the repetition of the first and last line.
    Favorite part:

    she dreams:
    little giggles tiny hands
    innocence kiss

    Beautiful write
    Thanks for the entry
    Good Luck
    ♥[Katee]♥


  • Samcat
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you've repeated your first line at the end. I'm thinking you used the fantasy option. I really like this poem!

    Thanks for entering!
    x

1 - 7 of 7