Heartache is what we feel
When we see your picture on the wall
Heartbreak is what I felt
When I heard that your heart stopped beating
I loved your smile, I loved your glowing eyes
You were so young, and that made me sob and cry
Hearts broke when you passed
Your mother cried on my shoulder
We loved you, but we lost you
Heartache is what we feel now and forever
Author notes
My friend died, and we all still feel pain
A contest entry
- Quickie 10/10/1 by LeilaJayne.
300 points, ended May 18, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - so..how about the bronze winners now? by Cat10.
600 points, ended June 2, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Heart by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended July 31, 2008, 118 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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For anyone to have to endure this is not fair at all, especially someone so young as your self. remember the pain so when good times come you appreciate them more.
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thank you for entering! this was a great poem, and I can relate in many ways! though in this line "When we see you picture on the wall" you may want to change "you" to "your" I don't count off or anything with spelling or grammar..because, well everyone makes mistakes..(me a lot) and its the meaning behind the words that make a poem, not the words themselves! you did a great job here though! and good luck!
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Aww this is so sad!!!! Thanks for entering x
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It was from the heart, i understand, but you kind of looked like you rushed it and didn't put the time to put real feelings into it. You used words like "sob and cried," sure, but you didn't actually express what you were feeling. What I'm saying is next time, try to put more of how you felt into the poem, it will help it to seem more natural.
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