The first layer,
layed on the bottom drawer
as dust settled and encumbered
superficiality.
The second layed in the
second drawer, alongside
archaic beliefs, that once
snugged tightly on hips
that rattled with
freedom.
The third on the top -
a reminder of what
was; components of the
other layers, with an extra
added touch of relief.
Standing by the naked shore of rebirth,
as ripples streamed and awakened dormant
memories and desires.
As the limbs of hope,
liken a child -
takes its first steps;
as hands of faith clasp together
to give thanks, and the sheen
of strength and beauty moonlit from above.
Author notes
Prompt: naked
A contest entry
- Naked by AJ Morelli.
2500 points, ended June 3, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
this was a very unique and fascinating take on the theme, glad to see you reach outside of the common... it's a very nice write, if i had to make a critique it would be to change the title... the first line starts "the first layer", i don't know what you are referring to at this point, the second continues and then the third... no real expansion on this theme until S4... i think if the title provided more information regarding the subject matter the more interesting and effective the read...
all said, a fine entry and i thank you for it
al -
-
thank you for the comment..very much has to do with the metaphysical layers of the overall human spirit.
-
-
What revealing layers can do to cleanse out inner soul. Tucked away neatly to remind us of what we were and perhaps what we have become.
Lovely well put together piece.
Becky
-
Ah, yes, a stripping a way of all that does not make us walk better. A difficult, often painful process, but healthy in the end. Such beautiful comparisons made here. Wonderfully done.
-
i am thinking stripped away layers here with the naked prompt, though of course we can put them back whenever we wish to. a good poem.
-
Wow, this piece is very amazing. The metophors were stunning and your ability to create such a diverse piece from that prompt just shows me how gifted you are. I hope you grab the gold in this one.
Much Love
Carrie
-
-
Is this picture of you? Quite beautiful. Thank you for the lovely comment. :->
-
-
Aw, thank you so much. Yes it is me My old picture was me as well. It was one of my senior pictures so I thought I would update it. Thank you so much again
Much Love
Carrie
-
-
-
Wow! This was splendid...
I just loved this write! An honestly beautiful piece of art...
best wishes for you in the contest!
~ James ~
-
-
Oh thank you...your comment means alot.
-
-
interesting
I really liked the concept of removing layers to get to the point where one is 'naked' that was very clever! good write my friend, wish you luck in the contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
