He knew it was blue;
she knew it was green,
but it was never turquoise.
They both knew it reflected
from the deepest ocean
and from the gems in her ears,
but one was here and one was there.
Each breath in was white
and each breath out was black
but it was never grey,
or silver, or blended.
His time was noon;
hers was midday,
but it was never 12 o’clock.
The clock struck a dozen times
and the chimes rang as loud
as bluey green,
but he was right;
she was right,
and it was never turquoise.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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again wow
silverscent
this just says it. him and her, she was right, he was right. but. no judgements, no leaning, no society, yet profound. no hope, but no hopelessness, no winner, no looser, no conclusion. amazing write. I have read three of your poems now each one better then the last.
I love how they make me think and re-read them.
jingle
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Wow. I love your take on this colour. This makes me think of me and my best friend, so much alike yet we have our differences, and would probably debate whether the colour is green, or blue. There is never a grey area. And we're both always right.
I'd point out something I love in particular but I love it all. :]
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I enjoy how you use a combined color to project a point
The simplistic obligation shown in the first three lines demonstrate the candidness of not even testing if this certain mingle of personality's hues may haply be another slice of usefulness. I also thought, "and from the gems in her ears, but one was here and one was there" was a stellar perspective, that you can't lag with agreeing slightly on a large category of emotions. The ocean is prevalent with pearls of the rightly paced conversation to savor individually.
A bluntness that can't overlap the stage of inhaling and exhaling between both people, impassively becoming a pale element -- stanza two. Even breathing deep isn't so harshly talking over each other's air so to speak. That is my favorite quote, the imagery gleams sadly.
"but it was never 12 o’clock" makes me think of a time set to just speak things out to each other, but there's always an unpolished of 'i'm ready,' 'i'm not.' There's an effect in verses 15-17 that under-layer the section of who believes there could be a tie-dye in the grandfather clock and smiles, while the other is without empathy.
This is one of many true, heartfelt writings,
Daisy -
Wow!
When I read the title of this poem, I had no clue what I would be reading, I thought the poem was going to be on the color itself. But, after reading this piece, I love the way you've taken up colors to show how different two people, so close can be so different. Superb!
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Thanks!
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I cant stop reading this freaking poem!
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This poem sounds so much like me and my ex... We loved eachother so much but we saw everything SO differently...
Lol. Your an excellent poet. Full stop. 2 pieces are enough to know that. But I want more
Welcome to my favourite list Hope you feel at home...
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Each living soul is different from others. And then it so happens that two strangers somehow are doomed to live together despite their different attitudes and diverse perceptions. In order to live peacefully, they need to compromise a little yet they might be incapable of seeing the grey area:
"His time was noon,
hers was midday,
but it was never 12 o'clock.
The clock struck a dozen times
and the chimes rang as loud,
but he he was right,
she was right
and it was never turquoise."
Rahi
. Rewarded 8
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My favorite part:
'the chimes rang as loud
as bluey green,
but he was right;
she was right,
and it was never turquoise. '
It really rounds the poem out.
I also very much like the opening lines. Actually I think the first stanza is a poem in itself.
. Rewarded 6
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Be Proud
Of this work of art, and all your others.
This was beautiful. -
This is pretty god damn awesome.
I think it captures that relationship everyone of us has had perfectly. Its not over the top pretentious, but isnt plain and boring.
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crazy kewl... i get it....and i can realate....i love it.
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wow
that just blew my mind!
I am completely floored and amazed.
Very well done fellow poet.
Savina
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