Allemande left and skip to my Lou,
skip, skip, skip to my Lou
and down the line, his dress boots shining.
Lou is waiting.
The children sleeping in chairs flash by
and Grandma's china full of catered lunch.
Watch fobs twinkle and long skirts sweep
broderie anglais on the underskirts.
He doesn't know about the broderie
and doesn't know the china is Royal Doulton.
He wouldn't care for Lou is waiting
her fallen lashes cast upon her cheek.
He's going to the West tomorrow
to the flare of Red River sunsets.
Claves are sounding and the cigarettes are stale
his feet twinkle past the sound
of a crying baby.
The goodnight kisses will begin
through her long hair sweeping the floor.
He feels cantankerous and pensive
missing her even as he dances
down the line but doesn't weep.
Ubi caritas et amor. Deus ibi est,
says an old professor at the end of the line.
There is no Deus here but only Lou.
He firms his jawline so as not to weep.
"Please pass the aspirin," he says
to no one in particular.
Later, they drink black coffee in the rain.
He looks over his shoulder at the dancers
and goodnight kisses continue to goodbye
continue and continue and continue.
His tears fall on his dress boots shining
and rain splatters in the mug of coffee
as he weeps.
Author notes
allemande left
skip to my Lou
watch fobs
long skirts with broderie anglais underskirts
fallen eyelashes
Red River Sunsets
claves
I'm going to the west
Grandma's china
children sleeping in chairs
goodnight kisses
long hair touch the floor
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est
pensive
dress boots shining
stale cigarettes
cantankerous
a look over his shoulder
please pass the aspirin
jawline
weep
black coffee in the rain
baby crying
MY LIST
Baby Duck
Beverley Street
mother
sauerkraut (claimed)
shoes (claimed)
do si do (claimed)
square dance skirts
string ties (claimed)
DAY 2
ruffled shirts
ballet slippers (claimed)
fiddles (claimed)
slide together, slide stomp
Okey Pinoke
rumba
samba
Cuban heels (claimed)
DAY 3
flamanco
music and passion are always in fashion at the Copa Cabana
swing your partner
promenade (claimed)
buck and wing
DAY 4
invitation to the dance
waltz of the Toreadors
buck and wing
church ladies
a flask in someone's car
'tis a fine night for dancing
schottische
save the last dance for me
DAY 5
the Tennessee Waltz
We will meet again at Philippi
stepping on toes
cutting in
B.O.
whisky breath
copping a feel
DAY 6
shirt tail parade
sweaty palms
shivaree
tipping the outhouse
A contest entry
- The Mixer - Part II by ea.
450 points, ended May 23, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Victorian Parlor Game # 15 - The Mixer by ea.
450 points, ended May 25, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites! Show Me Your Best Work! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended May 31, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold part 6 by whispernthedark.
500 points, ended September 12, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOT GOLD? Calling all single silvers..... by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended November 13, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - silver I by Salty Hibiscus.
450 points, ended February 6, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, what's your opinion of this?
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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the imagery you crafted are beautiful. i can feel the fun and joyful the characters, in your poem, experienced. thanks for sharing and good luck.
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Wow. This is one creative piece! Well done! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
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thank you for the night on the town and the great entry. best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
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You told a great story here, loved it. Congratulations, and thanks for the dance.
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I love the story telling going on in this poem - what a scene you evoke. The stanza with the professor is so dreamlike and amusing. I enjoyed this piece; you were quite ambitious with all your choices - good for you!
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Haha, I'd have love to get "ballet slippers" too.
Meanwhile, may I have this dance? promenade
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Yes
Sorry to keep you waiting.
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May I have this dance?
do si do
ballet slippers -
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Yes
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May I have this dance? sauerkraut
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May I have this dance? - Cuban heels
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May I have this dance? Fiddles, ballet slippers
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Yes, to both
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ballet slippers are already taken but thank you.
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string ties - may I have this dance?
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shoes - may I have this dance?
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Yes, you may. Sorry to keep you waiting!
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