Darkness bears down upon wretched pain
Wrenching hate from stapled blood
Purity lost in boundless graves
Engorged flesh slick with fresh slaughter.
Upon midnight stars die slowly
Each fighting incessantly for a last burst of light
Draining in color, souls tangled in horrifying sorrow
Fall from existence, angling as sharp penance in terror.
Yet light bursts through willowing shredding hate
Tenderly caressing gentle waves of fright
Every second another lifetime in agony
Brilliance glowing in humorous affection
Hope has come, filling treacherous deathly hallows
Last chance in severing demons fiendish eyes
One shot at marvelous glory fulfilling destiny
Good finally overcoming evil in a battle of eternal peace.
A contest entry
- Untangle Your Mind by Arkbear.
500 points, ended May 24, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Well done!
Bear is a hard guy to please...lol...I joke...well..not really..anyway...way to go!
I really like this....
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Hey there ~
I'm glad you came out to support the contest....thanks ~
I like you entry.....but as you enter more of the Group contests by me, you will find I am set in what I look for ~
Creativity....Unoriginal....Themes....Power....Impact....Focus & Lasting Impression ~
Since I can obviously see your quill has talent, I want you to dig much deeper next time ~
This is a great write, but I want to see if you can not use any filler words....I see 3 up there :)
Shortening your stanzas keep it in Poetic Format as well.....which I believe this work would look great in format ~
I hope you join me again....love to see more of your thoughts on my Themes ~
Good luck and God bless,
Bear ~
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