She dangles there, within my sight---
I hear her singing every night.
With ocean eyes and golden hair,
She's always staring, always there.
A glass wall holding us apart
built by those without a heart,
and they just smile as I shake,
for every moment I'm awake.
They beat me down into the ground;
They penetrate me all around!
Stuck in dirt from head to toe,
they don't look back, they don't let go.
My heart will sink with every smack,
They strangle me, my world goes black.
I sleep and dream so far away---
hoping, longing, as I lay
To see someone who's out of sight;
To touch when hands are handcuffed tight;
This illness makes my legs go weak,
I cannot walk, I cannot speak!
I cannot shatter this glass wall,
and they will just ignore my call
Remembering that winter day
When her eyes looked at me that way.
Author notes
May 17, 2008.... I have a girlfriend, but my parents do everything in their power to not let me see her... it's like they're holding me back and the glass wall represents that. They don't want me to be with her and they make up lies and insane rules to try and keep me away from her.
Option #1
A contest entry
- forbidden love by hardwire.
450 points, ended May 17, 2008, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything, Basically by wonderbandalice.
525 points, ended June 2, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Sadness by SunDew.
1200 points, ended February 26, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Celebration of Our Insanity by DramaQueen469.
900 points, ended March 1, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Haha, you've entered this in one of my contests before!!
Lol...
Well done, thankyou for entering and good luck!!
~*~DramaQueen469~*~ -
forbidden love
Always a depressing, heartbreaking thing. I understand to a point, what you went though while writing this (has anything changed?). I have a forbidden love of my own, but it's not parents keeping me from him. He's married. & if my family found out, they'd disown me. I wish you happiness.
Thanks for entering & good luck!
~Bright Cheetah
-
really good. wikid liked.
-
Wow this is amazing.
Love the lines:
"My heart will sink with every smack,
They strangle me, my world goes black.
I sleep and dream so far away---
hoping, longing, as I lay"
Completely understand how you feel. My parents were the same with my ex.
Brilliant write and rhyming, well done, thanks for entering and good luck!
X
-
Bastards!! That is so not cool.
I love the imagery of the glass wall, it fits so well. I'm very impressed by this poem - well done and good luck. -
Wow...This poem has the same rhythm as "The Ballad of Hastur and Cassilda," and the opening of it has that same eldritch beauty.
The stars were mirrored on the shore.
The sands were jeweled evermore...
I'm sorry your parents are being so restrictive. I hope you at least get to see each other at school. -
I liked this a lot. I think it would be easier to read if separated into stanzas, though. But other than that, it's very powerful, and I like it
-
Oh.
My.
Goodness!!
You are a fantastic writer!! Wow!!
Seriously, absolutely fantastic you rock!
You have such a deep and dismal way of expressing you emotions, but the words are so powerful, so well put, and your rhyme schemes are ... fantastic!!! Yay!!!!!
-
BRAVO!!
this is so great! you rhyming is perfect!
I can't find one instance where it was forced...truly amazing, and it adds such power to your words....its really a heartfelt poem! -
I liked that ALOT! It was so......aweosome. Good luck on the contest!
-
I love this piece. It rhymes but definetley doesn't feel forced. However I'm sorry about the inspiration that made this poem happen. Parents can and will eventually suck, maybe not forever but it happens, lol. Hope things get better and thank you for sharing <3
-
I really liked this one.
I had this problem a lot during high school. Parents can really be a drag in relationships sometimes. My mom kept me from all of my girl friends until finally she just realized it wouldn't do any good...Anyhow I'm rambling.
It will get better.
I liked this:
"She dangles slow within my sight
I hear her singing every night
With ocean eyes and golden hair
She's always staring, always there"
As well as this:
"Remembering that winter day
When her eyes looked at me that way"
The rhyme was nice in this one.
-
Very sad...sorry for this. The poem was written very well and showed well your pain.
Az
-
thank you sooooooo much!!!!!
i loved this one!!!!! it's so sad. the emotion just drown you!!!! it had me in tears. i know how you feel. at the moment i kind of feel worse.... i know i can never be with him. he's my sister's boyfriend!!!!!
-
-
Oh God... that must be TERRIBLE to want your sister's boyfriend!
-
-
very deep
it hurts to be kept away from the one you love
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
