it slithers around descendants
coiled like a red snake
tempers aflame
(salivates on the blessed of Days)
looks like it will hurt-
and it does,
slips the dark rabbit
from satan’s cap
with that evil stare
melts the offspring,
stinging small souls
another finger in the trigger
(initials are in the heirloom stock)
chamber filled in roulette
ten to one, it trips.
but there’s apology, always-
half-pressed prayers
only Grace upholds
anger - the worst
the sin of all, stomp it-
cast down in Christ’s Name
reverse this Curse-
for murder is its friend
In the name of peace
and holy terror
and don’t be stunned-
a Judgement awaits
while surviving hearts
anticipate its death!
Author notes
Rash anger assassinates the heart.
Written December 22nd, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Thank you for your comments, and I just want you to know that there are many here who are serious. I am one of them. I have a light heart, but I wanted others to critique me with suggestion....or there's no need to. I would get myself a 2004 Writer's Market. Read it thoroughly like you would a book. Don't hurry your valleys. After a time, your choices will be narrowed. Follow the queries! You'll get it. ....don't feel defeated..EVER!! lol
I am glad you like my work. I am not a hobbyist. I intend to be a regularly paid writer at this later time in my life.
Bless you..and keep up the quality!
-
Perfection
This is so incredible! How do you critique something so perfect? I love the way you've kept the lines concise, and yet you've twisted the words to really make the reader have to follow closely.
And I adore the way you've split it up into such a fashion that it is in subtle fragments, all sort of "coiling" around together in the end like you state in the first stanza.
Ever reminding of our human faults... -
wow - there is lots to say about this poem. Firstly, I like the way it's structured - simple collections of powerful words. You finish reading it and immediately return to the start to read it again. You have used an interesting concept - one with a lot of truth. I wonder what would happen if each time we got angry we laughed at ouselves? Good write.
-
He slips his hand into our thoughts
and can confuse even a spiritual mind
waiting waiting for the final escape
from the evil that twists our elongated fates.
The flash of flesh blinds the eye to good fruit,
and covers with veils all that is truth.
Though the strong can resist his touch,
he successfully drives weakened minds mad. -
i like the sincerety and the feeling of darkness this poem brings. it's very blunt in such a way that it is easy to follow and understand. while delivering the message it requires.
-
Excellent
Ten to one...those are good odds, even for a revolver. I'll take the bet. I enjoyed this poem. Thanks for writing it. -
Well, bless your heart. I sensed this poem on a personal level, but it comes back around full circle, and in His purpose, it WILL happen, won't it?
Your heart is right and is always refreshed when morning cometh.
(and prayer will smite the red snake)!
Thank you for your sincerity, no matter how many pauses. And thank you for reading and letting me know! -
Thank you so for this poem Dianne. I so needed this today. Last night I was having such a horrible night, and I even lashed out at a few people here at AP,. unnecessiarly. I am ashamed of my tongue. I did write apologies this morning. I equate it to Menopause, but there is no exceuse for angry words and rudeness. I prayed on bended knee last night and knew what I had to do this morning. I hope I righted some of the wrongs I left last night. I was acting so out of my normal spirit, and you have allowed me to see that through this poem. Thank you my friend, and God bless you. It always amazes me when God uses someone else to show us what should be next in our lives. I will watch my tongue from this point on and try to detect that "snake" when it surfaces.
Much Love,
Renee
-
Dearest Dianne
We may fail, we may fall, we may stumble, we may crawl ... but HIS LOVE encircles us, forgives us, uplifts us ... and purify us. We are safe.
Love you, Dame Dianne - Peace and Joy to you, Poetess!
Myra -
You've got it, Sherry. Undue and rash anger is a deathly and very consequential sin.
-
whoohooooo! Amen, brother. Preach to me...
I needed that. Know what? You bless me. Yes, you do.
Had to repost part of this , as my screen closed the first time!
Thank you for all that you share! Blessed Christmas, CookieZeal/Dianne -
Well this was a dark one you wrote it well as you always do Cookie.... anger can do alot of things it can be scary. This shows there is accountability for it.....but forgiveness to when given and repented for right. Did I catch it mostly. Love you C...Hugs,Sherry
-
Amen, the sin of the wicked is the angered heart
for it does melt away all the joy and peace that only Christ
in Us can bring....
may they find their fortune elsewhere...
Happy Honika dear Sis
let go of all that keeps you bound in fear
-
If all the host of heaven clap when one soul is saved, what do they do when one is lost? As long as we have life, we can find our way out of the synthetics walls, made with glass for light to shine through, that have been painted with religosity, self-righteous anger, and self-pity, all of which dethrones the Holy King (Revelations says the evil one will sit on the throne pretending to be the Holy One). Serve love or hate, and wait. It's all in God's timing, combined with holy free choice of the sons & daughters of God, whose holy spirit even today is under attack in high places. Feed the sheep, love one another...geez! I almost never go on like this....LOL! Hope I am not offensive. This write obviously got my wheels turning. Peace & Love. Timothy
Edited on Dec 22, 4:49 p.m. because ''.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
1 old applause
