From zero to one hundred
in what seems like seconds,
yet the scars of the journey
are entrenched under the bonnet.
All emotions tried and tested
from new, now merely jaded;
secondhand virtue
from too many broken promises.
Choking on filth
from exhaustive abuse,
pockmarked and dented
in complex aversion.
Creeping forth from grimy memories
yet sliding backward in time,
any freedom on open roads
blinded by raindrops of prickled pain.
Enlightenment comes
from travelling too many miles
and the weather has rusted
the beauty admired when new.
Author notes
Quote 5.
'Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias.'
from movie - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
In a list
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired .:x:. by Naridill.
700 points, ended May 24, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
450 points, ended July 16, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"Enlightenment comes from travelling too many miles"...so true, and sometimes that enlightenment includes the realization the you missed a turn a ways back. Wonderful write!
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Thanks so much for your great comment and applause
Much appreciated!
Gaylene
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I didn't care for the opening, it didn't catch me enough -
This was a good piece, but it didn't spark for me - I know critically that doesn't help and for that I apologize.
It was well written, but I would have liked to see just a bit more imagery. I have read pieces by you before that were much stronger -
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Thank you for reading and your comments
Much appreciated.
Gaylene
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wow, this is a wonderful poem, i really liek it, but i dont know if it is allowed in the No Comment contest because it already has a comment
but either way, i love this write, you are a brillant poet, ad keep it up
stephanie ♥
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I've gone through several cars
but have the same old body - mine.
Your analogous poem is wonderfully constructed. It is true that all of us do not get through life unscathed. There is often much needing attention (wires crossed, etc) under one's bonnet.
The car metaphor surfaces mechanically and superbly in each stanza: "entrenched under the bonnet"; "secondhand virtue"; "exhaustive abuse"; "grimy memories"; "the weather has rusted" and lots more!
The sadness and phobia of living life leave dents and that is the obvious statement of your poem. Your theme is excellently encapsulated in your title: Life is a trade-off and that is the price of wisdom in the world of hard knocks. Thank you for a very interesting and memorable poem. Ron.
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