I am but a figment, of a moment in time,
where the breeze rustles softly,
shifting limbs in slow mime.
I am but a blossom, creamy pink and sublime,
dancing slowly to the rhythme
of nature's own rhyme.
I am but a fruit, from the womb of God's soil,
where the hands of hard labour
reaps rewards, with all toil.
I am but a season, of a quarterly sphere,
feeding all with my produce,
whom I hold very dear.
I give what I am able, during famine and drought,
just a few drops of water,
to a parched and cracked mouth.
So take note of my blessings, given freely to all
and thank heavens above
that they land at your door.
Author notes
POW
Subject: Nature's foibles.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
1000 points, ended May 19, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Nice job!! Congrats!!! (see, I told you it still did well..lol)....
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Thank you
I will be back 
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Hey cutie :)
Long time no see :)
Well, as beautfiul as it is, you already know what I am going to say :)
I don't think you brought a lot of originality to your Theme choice.....I believe there is so much more to write about than common Themes ~
I do know, however, Poets will use whichever Theme fits their muse at the time ~
....nice Tone....lovely presentation....penned beautifully ~
Let my scorebaoad tell you more about how I felt about your write :)
Good luck!
Bear ~
Title 7.0..a tad too common for me -
Flow 9.25 long stanzas seemed to slow me down -
Depth 9.9...very deep and pretty -
Theme 6.95....not the worst...hehe -
Feelings 10....I give you Props on this category -
Grammar 9.75
Presentation 10...Very pretty -
Uncommonness 7.0...sorry -
Sit & Ponder Affect 8.85...nice sentiments -
Ability to follow Rules 8.0...those Rules will get cha every time :)
Bears Score: 86.7
Nice!
2nd best score I have personally handed out tonight -
No editing after Judges touch your work, until after contest please,
Bear ~
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Ah, Mr. Bear...I have to apologise for my inability to read rules and yes, you were right, the muse orchestrated the whole affair My life is governed by the muses whim, and this was one of those occurances Nice to see you again my friend ps. I think your choice of judges is wonderful
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Good Lord, I cant believe aboomer and Islekine almost had this removed! lol
Obviously you werent the only one to miss the rules this week...as mentioned...those of us who would have warned you are all here judging....This is a beautiful write that shows much talent (but I have read you before, so thats really no surprise)
For me the points that are lost are countered by quality in other areas....I truly hope to see you come back and take up to these new challenges in the PO's.
A lovely read indeed. Best wishes.
my final score will come later.
Jamie
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Thank you Jamie for your kindness...I do so enjoy these po's as they really tax my brain. I have been absent for a while and am looking forward to getting back into the challenge. Many thanks for your comments, which are always appreciated
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Hi - welcome to the PO....
This was lovely, but the title was very common and the depth and impact weren't powerful - but on this kind of write, that is sometimes hard to do. I enjoyed your wording and your message.
On the rules - I counted about 18 of the filler words. In these contests, you need to follow the rules first, then enter a unique and powerful write.
Best wishes in the contest, and hope to see your lovely talent again in future contests.
My score will come later.
**Remember - no editing once a judge has commented -
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My apologies, I miss-read the rules and thought the filler words applied to Arkbears other contest. My apologies, would you like me to remove this from the contest?
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Heaven's no!! It was still a very lovely entry, and scored fairly well. And it's good that you will get so many varied opinions on this piece - and it will get seen. Just - next time - watch out for those rules!...lol
best wishes
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Aloha!! Nice to see you and your talent
in POW. You didn't notice I'm sure, and Bear has everyone who would have warned you a judge this time..
but he added rules....no filler words (listed in rules)....you used them quite a bit. That being said.
Your sentiments are beautiful...and you are truly blessed...Hope to see you and your talent again.
Best wishes in the contest.
Write on!
*PEACE*
Remember: No editing once a judge has commented on your piece. -
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Thank you for your kindness...indeed, I miss-read the contest rules and thought the rule applied to arkbears other contest, my mistake .I will remove from contest if so required
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I by no means meant for you to pull this...
IN FACT: that's another new rule...once a judge has critiqued...they ask you don't pull your entry.
This is an absolutely beautiful write...and I do hope you understand, it was never meant that you remove it!
(It's a contender this week....lol) -
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I have to say in all honesty...hand on heart that I was hoping you would say that It was a genuine mistake which hopefully will not happen again....next time I will put my specs on Nice to see you again sweetie
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WHOA this really knocked me off my feet. I loveee this!
The first two stanzas are amazing and perfect IMO. so gentle and relaxing, and they both had excellent flow.
But also you might want to check again with the rules before a judge comments. good luck.
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Thank you for your kindness...I did indeed misread the rules and thought the filler words applied to arkbears other contest. My mistake
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This is truly incredible and through God's mercy has these blessings been there for you to give to the next person in need. Through this God will surely bless you and yours.. Thanks for sharing this with me and may God continue blessing you and yours...
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Thank you Darryl Delighted that you enjoyed it
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