The engine room is waiting, the thermostat is low,
The glass is frosting over, as cold as it can go;
I see the dark before me without a place to hide,
My heart beats in the silence as I'm climbing inside.
Self worth is non existant as in this room I stand,
The black dial is before me, I touch it with my hand;
I turn it slightly upwards and feel an inner glow,
The boiler room takes action, whilst rumbling far below
Once more I move it upwards, the temperature is high,
Evaporates misgivings as deep depressions dry;
I see it in my minds eye each time I feel the pain
The thermostat is rising to warm my soul again.
A contest entry
- Prime. Rhyme . Time (Must vote contest) by Legend.
2000 points, ended May 25, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Congratulations on the gold. I was just wandering how your voting went seeing as you never even viewed my entry for the contest, by the way I left a comment on every single entry...and I voted for you. Thanks!
Shaz -
Congratulations on the Gold! Well done, poet!
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Congratulations for writing a wining poem. Great imagination.
~Sonja~
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great write..brill..xxx
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I like very much the warmth you generate in your engine room... you leave me smiling. ~ kl
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Very interesting read. Lots of room for interpretation, and good rhyme and flow. Best to you in the contest.
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Great poem....lovely imagery
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Very Good
Once more I move it upwards, the temperature is high,
Evaporates misgivings as deep depressions dry;
I see it in my minds eye each time I feel the pain
The thermostat is rising to warm my soul again
Good ending for this verse
I like happy endings
Rick
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This totally made me smile!!! I love the concept your write of in the poem...very creative indeed.
Thanks for sharing this,
Luck. -
Excellent rhyme lil lady the beat of the train went clickity clack all the way to the end.
Well done you!
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i love this i think you did a very great job here in this contest it was a o pleasure reading your joy good luck to you in the contest
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I have an internal thermostat but it defys all logic most of the time... And I do like it as the premise of your poem, which has an almost perfect flow and a very catchy rhyme...
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immaculant
i enjoyed this very much. you did a fantastic job on this poem. your rythm rhyme and time [=p] was all very great. good luck in the contest!!!
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Awe...very nicely written, rhyme and flow are both lovely and I found myself jogging along to a little beat in my head. Well done with this very clever entry. Good luck in the contest.
Shaz xx
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Can you tell me where I can buy one of these? You have written a catchy,sing-song poem and the reader (me!) couldn't help feeling how good it would be to have a 'dial' to turn to change our moods. I enjoyed this. ~Von
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well done
Flows nicely. Good rhyme and rhythm. Develops a good image. I would think that a lot of us wish we could get our hands on our inner "dial".
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great imagery and rhyme, i see you baking and sweating in your engine room xx good luck
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I always enjoy seeing rhyming poetry - I have a soft spot for it. A few times I felt the syntax inversion took away from the overall poem, but all in all, this was a lovely piece. Emotive with a strong ending.
I'm glad I had a chance to read this.
Cheers for the read and good luck in the contest!
Nocturne -
I think everyone wants a thermostat like that; it would be extremely useful. I love the imagery and metaphors that you used, and I loved how you used rhyme to convey a pretty dark message without making it cliche, or cheesy, or something. I also liked how you used a very severly dark theme, but ended on a very poignant theme of hope. I really enjoyed this, and I thought that it was very well put together. Thank you so much for sharing this with us ^_^
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I want one!!! the thermostat that is.
I love how the story goes and the lift it brings to the reader. your rhyme works nicely and the meter is good.
this is a fun read.
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Oh that we could control ourselves in such a way as you describe Sadly we do not have command of the controls.A wonderfully rhyming poem that flowed well, a pleasure to have read Good luck in the contest Thank you for entering
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well
Another gem and always a pleasure to read. The funny thing is I worked in Engine rooms for 37 yrs. Boy were they hot lol
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