She is so very precious, as everybody knows,
A fairy in the making, they call her Twinkle Toes;
She's there to give a tickle, whenever you are down,
To fill your heart with chuckles and wipe away your frown.
She dances in the sunlight and shimmies on your hair,
Whilst whispering her magic, she flies without a care;
Perhaps you'll fly beside her to chase away your blues,
Replace them with the giggles that glow in rosy hues.
Then watch her as she twinkles within a moonlit night,
She'll bring to you the Sandman to take you on sleeps flight;
To dance with her at midnight where dreams are, I suppose,
For she will be your best friend, your special Twinkle Toes
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 2 Children's - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended June 3, 2008, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need new rhyming favorites by piccola.
900 points, ended June 10, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I believe my rules state no previous trophy winners. Congrats on the gold though, this is excellant.
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congratulations on the gold and well done on writing this poem.
On lines 10, 11 and 12 you use consecutive stresses which throw the reader off a little bit. "sleeps flight", "where dreams" and "best freind". perhaps a little tinkering would iron it out.
thanks for the read. -
This is a very nicely rounded out poem. Very nice flow and rhyme and perfect for children to hear. It sounds lovely when read aloud. Congratulations. ~ Joyce
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Although Jeff has commented on my behalf I felt I would like to add my own congratulations...well done Ros...Sue
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bravo!
precious.
exquisitely written.
very deserving of gold!
a delight to read
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This is a lovely poem, full of the magic of childhood. It rhymes and flows seemingly effortlessly. Congratulations on the well-deserved win.
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An adorable write, with perfect form and flow! Congratulations on the Gold!
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This was a clear winner with both official judges and with a significant number of the experts (children aged 3-15) I consulted.
Charming in every way, lovely rhyme and flow and a great tale, my only criticism is I can't read the visited links against the background!
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Oh, I adore this! I want a twinkle toes friend
Beautiful write, with great rhyme and flow
Best of luck in the contest,
Sincerely,
Sassy
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This is very sweet. I like it a lot. Good Luck
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This is really good, it has marvelous flow in it and good rhyme. You also give it a child-like carefree tone to it all, which really compliments the messages of the poem. good job.
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