It is said...Be true to yourself
So I search my heart and wonder, have I been so
Short stories, a bargain basement deal
just some lines to quench the thirst?
And I digress and become a follower
striving to please the faces in the crowd
Like the hunter without a kill
my lines are short of victory's, long on rant
And tomorrow brings promises of the same,
the stench hidden behind doors closed long ago
This betrayal has it's advantages
it allows me to lie and nod in belief
And the lines I pen become my sword of distrust
cutting deeper into this darkened heart
Insignificant perhaps, is the truth that lies within
unreadable to many aloof and free
But betrayal , that greatest treason
has spewed it's ugly head and releases it's venom
And I cannot escape my self-made prison
By Bob Fox
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Magnificent
And the lines I pen become my sword of distrust
cutting deeper into this darkened heart. oh gosh what a great line. Excellent! so powerful! i loved your poem -
This is amazing
truly. Your perception of the human condition and your own shortcomings ...exploring the depths of you. An impressive piece. I salute you
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and you were doing so well without rhyme, until the last few lines...! accident or intent, you cannot rhyme in freeverse! and you were doing so well...!
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free verse has underlying rhyme and rhythm. This work is just fine. People have opinions about free verse and yours is just one of them, as is mine. I find this to be a write from the heart.
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I like how deeply you explore your emotions here. It brings to light the darkness we sometimes hold within
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Bob
I find you live to be yourself, and write to relieve stress of aching hearts or happiness... wonderful thoughts there.. keep sharing
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it poem is absolutly wonderful; very very nice
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Wow, this poem has left me speechless. It's an amazing piece of work. Keep it up! ;D
*Ambzz. -
Bob it's nothing more than that last whiskey coming back to haunt you. Very well done perspective on ones self and happy trails.
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congratulations on the spotlight!
It is true that no matter where you go - there YOU are...we all have lies that we live with in order to continue moving on...I like to call it blessed delusion... so what do you do when your not pondering the dynamics of the universe?
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A very powerful write. This will cause many to pause and think. It seems to be a human trait to struggle with feelings of self betrayal. This piece truly speaks from the heart. Well done.
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Very well done. Funny how we can see ourself untrue, penned in, etc, but in expressing that very indictment prove it is not completely the case. Just look at the response this one expression has brought. Nice work!
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RIGHT TO THE HEART!!!!
In my world of my youth if one betrayed another they were frowned upon by those who knew. Loyality, trust and compassion were much more common than they are today. I believe in todays world everyone at one time or another has been betrayed by another person in some way. This feeling is one which strikes very deep and stays to remind the person not to trust or reach out again. Kind of goes against our teachings, and we fight inside against this betrayal everyday.
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Awesome
My goodness Bob!!!!
Ohhh this really spews out an inner emotion and pain. An awesome piece of writing, it deserves an extra
Cherry
xxx
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As Nevadapoet said, "life isn't over until it's over" and no matter how many cages we put around ourselves, or find ourselves in, tehre's always a way out if we look hard enough. It might not be easy. It might hurt you, or another, or one close to you, but there is always a choice there, even when the world seems dark and closed off to us =)
One small thing,
"But betrayal , that greatest treason
has spewed it's ugly head and releases it's venom"
"Has spewed / releases" <-- did you mean released? to keep it in past tense? i wasnt sure here
As always [as im quickly noticing!] nice job!
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Life isn't over until it's over!!! Let your passions become your reality until there is no breath in you. Don't regret while life is still yours.
prison is for losers not for talented, gifted children of God.
Define yourself...NOW
Shelly
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Is it a prison to keep one end or is an emotion to hide from a world that had gone amog. The emotion you have expressed made this very strong write.
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Excellent and yes very sad indeed
They say you dislike the actions of others for they are also actions you have perticipated in yourself . I try to help everyone to know never be what you are not for you have to live with that person all your life .Be free and be yourself and you shall be a happy camper
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Sometimes we betray ourselves without knowing or without caring-I understand where you are coming from in this-
Love Hilly xxx
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i love you grandad this is sad but i love you with my heart hugggggggs you tight
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Wow!
Interesting write Bob, and a brave one.
It takes a man just to be with these questions in such honest self-interrogation.
I surely see the flashing of a 'sword', but it's one sharpened with voracity, the very implement to cut loose from self-made prisons!
'Significance', well I reckon the truth of our hearts aren't so different at the end of the day and it's all significant to me.
I think when you stand back far enough to see the prison clearly, your already standing somewhere else, but we all find habits hard to break and often fall headlong back into them again.
'Betrayal'- There's nothing that can't be forgiven in the real action of recognition and acceptance of what is, then to move on to that which is better. There's loads of 'real meat' in this write of yours.
Keep swinging that 'sword' Bob, it may be the most valuable possession you truly have.
Thanks for sharing your real thoughts in the sincerity which I believe opens the 'hearts'.
Your friend, Sol
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Sol
Life , i have found , is not all rainbows and Lolly-pops & I could certainly write of such things id need be. But as I grow closer to meeting my maker it is time to shed some honesty. Thanks my friend
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You can escape the prison.I did.It wasn't easy but it was worth it in the end.We often betray ourselves.Not wanting to be the person we know we should be.Yet these betrayals make us the better person and hopefully we learn from past mistakes. , Ros
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A very Intense write, gives one a lot of thought
Be Well
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Hi
In my life betrayal has become the norm. Save for friends. But I would be remiss if I wrote of just love without knowing what it really is. But your poets heart is kind & I always ty
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I think if we all looked at ourselves honestly we would all say we've not always been true to ourselves... myself more than most!
Thought provoking Bob! Your pen writes many a truth!!
Sigh... self made prisons... I know them well!
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Beautiful
Perhaps only in my writes I do not betray myself. Ty
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