Ramble of the Year

I have come to realize
I am a control freak
I never meant to become one
but now that I have no control over my life
my school
my money
my boyfriend
I have realized
there is nothing i can do.
I need to sit back
enjoy the ride
and not let a eating disorder take over.

I apologize for being said control freak
and for bitching over every little thing
but i am also a spoiled brat who likes getting things
my way
my way or the highway pal
right?
right.

I also am head over heels in love
with someone i cant control
though i know i try
and so every time i push it farther and farther
until tonight when all i had to do was udder 5 words
"im breaking up with you"
but the thought of that gave me control again
and i am sorry
i never wanted to hurt you
i never wanted to hurt myself
but i believe i am hurting us both
but if you can hang on to me
then i will hold onto you.

Oh also, I am a hypocrite
and i fully accept it.

I get mad a people who talk on there phones
yet i do
i get mad at drinking
but when its me, no problem
so i am sorry

this isnt supposed to be a poem by any means
just a way to get whats on my mind out in the open
because the person i was telling
is drunk
and asleep
and im jelous
and so here i am
telling all you random strangers
whom i have never met
and never will
that i am a hypocrite
i am a control freak
and i am sorry

have a good night
day
month
year
life
and go enjoy the weather