Happiness fills my every crevice,
it's a mere word, compared to the feeling.
Her hand collides with my own;
and for once I'm content.
We sat atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.
She says she'll keep me safe,
and never let me fall again,
with her I can believe it.
She is my guardian,
my only reason to smile.
Color finally paints my life,
no longer only gray,
our love set us free.
We are the reflection of true love...
Author notes
O u r x B e g i n n i n g
In a list
A contest entry
- make me love again by Mademokid.
331 points, ended May 29, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Song by Shya.
690 points, ended June 20, 2008, 34 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love and Emotional by Razor-Blade Romance.
1000 points, ended June 18, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me any kind of love you want by ApocalypseAngel.
450 points, ended June 27, 2008, 50 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We're All About The Love... by hey charlie.
700 points, ended August 22, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Many Ways Of I Love You. by Poetryintheblood.
425 points, ended July 20, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by whispernthedark.
745 points, ended August 22, 2008, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love My Lucky--- by Beautiful Sin-.
700 points, ended April 27, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 72 of 72
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This is great. I like the more upbeat and happy note of this poem. Its a great poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Very moving. Thanks for entering and best of luck!!~
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this is so cute, i enjyed reading it. thanks for entering
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This is really lovely
'Her hand collides with my own;'
Simple, and yet so powerful - this line gives the poem a feel of infinite power with your relationship,
love love love it
<3<3
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Haha! This is cute. I love this.
We sat atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.
I like that because I can relate to it. I've had an awesome experience like that, I love it. :]
Cute poem. Good job and good luck in the contest :]
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Very beautiful.
"Her hand collides with my own;
and for once I'm content."
Love these lines!
I think that's the perfect picture of emotion. Good job!
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I love Love Poems, especially when I can relate to them, so kudos for that.
"We sat atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal."
I sighed a little when I read this, I though it was just... breathtaking
Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Powerful write
Moments one will remember
penned forever
Thanks for the share
Darky
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Great write! Keep it up!
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utterly romanctic. I loved how you drew a portrait of such young love, and how forever really does extend beyond eternity.
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Beautiful beautiful beautiful. I feel like there is no other words for it!
We sat atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.
Favorite lines. I feel like this with my best friends. What can I say but this is fantastic?
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aw this is so beautiful. reading actually made me feel content! an excellent analysis on what the word means to you! good job and good luck!
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This is lovely. You've frozen a perfect minute and described it, not only what was happening but the way it affected you and how you felt, which was amazing. I'm a little jealous of you here.
Thanks for the great entry and all the best in the contest!
Blessings,
Katie -
This was nice. A lovely moment crystallized, timeless. I enjoyed the insight into somebody's magical moment, and I'm wondering now what will happen in the future, what happened in the past, but it doesn't matter becuase this moment has been recorded. Well done.
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this is amazing!! love is the most beautiful feeling a person could ever experience.. the words are extremely powerful, awesome write..
the ending was pretty lovely -
This is so very beautiful, yes love does open up all the colors of the world. Wonderful! Thank you for entering the contest, good luck... Oh, and congratulations on your prior wins, it is much deserving.
♥
whisper
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Isn't this just the best feeling in the world, to find the person and the feelings that you feel at one with. You conveyed the message beautifully and I see you have been rewarded many times over for your efforts. Best to you
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Re: Content. - Very nice work!
This one's a bit different and a bit hard for me ti understand! It's very well done, with fine choice of words and an interesting metaphor. It's got a different structure but it still flows well. The title evades me but it caught my interest, so it's working! Good work, thanks for sharing!
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Aww. This is how love should be. Such beauty in the expression of your love. Its great that one can find someone who keeps them from falling. Whether it be figuratively or actuality.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God bless
Tammy -
Meloncholy
This is so well written I was taken back...into my memories within your vista.
Thank you for this wonderful moment!
wolf
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Color finally paints my life,
no longer only gray,
our love set us free.
We are the reflection of true love...
That's terrific. I love this poem.
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Beautiful piece. I can see why it has won so many trophies!!!Best of luck in future contests with this one.
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I love it.
Amazing choice of words and the rhythms awesome.
Good luck -
Your first stanza is lovely. Though 'crevice' was a choice of words I'm not entirely sure of. Everything else, perfect. Very beautiful here, a tad cliched in the second stanza, but a very worthy love poem. Well done!
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A deep and touching expression of love for someone. It is very beautifully written and with raw emotion...always the best kind.
Excellent work. Thank you for entering, and good luck.
~Cj
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Oh such happiness...such love. But then that is what I asked for isn't it. It is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for entering
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Thank you for your lovely entry , good luck in my contest, Josie
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I absolutely loved the last line it shows the intensity of love in this piece. Great job and thank you for entering my contest.
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I absolutely loved the last line it shows the intensity of love in this piece. Great job and thank you for entering my contest.
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How cute. I really connected with this for some reason. I'm pretty sure I've never experienced love but after reading your poem, it felt familiar. You get brownie points for connecting with your readers. Yay you!
Thanks for entering and rocking my and Tua's contest.
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short, happy, cute, & simply. I like i like. Great write.
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great ending to a lovely poem! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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I really could relate to this, my favorite line that I could relate to the most is:
"Her hand collides with my own;
and for once I'm content."
=] It reminds me of my own love. This is an amazing and beautiful write. By far from the entries that I've read, this is my favorite. This created such a happiness inside of me. I am very happy about this write.
Thank you for rocking our contest.
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Ooh!!! this was so beautiful!!! What a wonderful image of true love! This just flowed right off the screen and into the readers heart!!! You did so beautifully.. I wish the two of you such happiness and joy!!!
Angel
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Well I do think this is beautiful blessings and love to you both
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Oh how beautiful great job thank you for sharing this awesome piece with us and painting a picture of true love this is simply an amazing piece!
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Good
Nice poem! I really like the words you chose. I must admit, I don't understand why you chose the title. -
That was very nice. Sweet and simple. It had a nice flow to it. Thanks for entering!
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I love the images you paint, and how realistically you describe the fantasy of true love. Well done.
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I love your wording and powerful enthasis of portraying love. I really feel that the small title of this piece also, gets direct to the point.
What a fantastic write.
Well Done !
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A sweet reminisce to scratch into the memory, sweet it was, I must say.
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very beautiful expressive work
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Yes I can see that refelection which you are reffering in your so wonderful words..I love the beauty and the depth of this piece..it is very swwet as well...
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Beautiful.
I loved this. It's so real, full of feeling, and it flows well. The only thing I might point out is that a few verb tenses don't agree in the beginning... in line 5, I would change 'sit' to 'sat' so that it agrees with line 7. Beautiful write... I'm glad you entered my contest.
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wow
simply wonderful.this piece simple points out the beauty of how and what true love should be about.. good luck in my contest! -
*well written*
you have put all your trust and hope into this person. thats a gr8 feeling to be able to trust:-) i like how you say you are a
"reflection of true love"
it shows how yall arn't afrade to show your love for one another. well done and good luck in my contest
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good
well this is an amazin poem so im putting it in 2end -
Beautiful poem here dear..I can feel teh flow of love here....Wonderful!
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'We sit atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.'
Awesome line
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Beautiful, and a powerful last line. Good work.
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Words ringing true
Your words reflect y'all's reflection of true love and appear filled with love's content. Love on... truly...
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This was really, really beautiful. It describes that feeling so perfectly! I love the this
"Happiness fills my every crevice,
it's a mere word, compared to the feeling."
Absolutely fantastic!
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I love the beginning, your imagery is really good, i can imagine the contentment they must feel just because they are together. I don't really like the way that you ended it though, "we are the reflection of true love" i find that you could have found something more original. I am not bashing your poem, on the contrary, i think that you have written a beautiful piece of poetry here, i just think that you could have done better for the ending! Keep writing!
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Amazing.
You are a great writer!
Your writing is so picturesque.
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your poem Content
I like the title though is being content enough. You don't seem just content in this poem. You seem very much in love. So really I don't think the title fits the poem.
My favorite part is "she is my guardian my only reason to smile." that's well written.
Good job
trekkergirl
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that is awesome
i am happy for you and you definitely have potential as a riter with your unique potential.
raelly liked this,
much love. -
I think you have potential as a writer, but for me, this poem was extremly redundant. Maybe its just a personal opinion, but i have read a lot of poems similar in content. Your style seems to be you own, but maybe a fresher topic could suffice.
Peace
Katy
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BRAVO! BRAVO!
Wonderful poem to feast upon the hand and hand reflections of true love and satisfaction.
way to write!
great job!
ears/Seattle
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this poem is unbelievably good. it is the best poem about a moment, filled with that sense of unbelievable bliss, that is the height of love- that can later can seem so fragile, and perched in time. to fall, in time, as well
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"Her hand collides with my own" Great line. Passionate expression of true love. Nice work.
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Very Well Done!!!
I love the ambiguity here - it can be intrepreted as a love affair but the author choses not to make it obvious from either a male or female angle.
The best stanza by far, in my very humble opinion, is:
"We sit atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal.
In that moment, nothing else mattered."
Fantastic!
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Awww this is so good! Its so sweet and just...perfect!
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That is beautiful, I wish I could do taht but she is so far away, that was beautifully written I am actually to the point of tears, not sarcastically or being a jerk kinda way I am being serious, beautifuly written and worded, I would give you a fovorite line like the others but the whole thing is my favorite
P.S. I would give you another applause but I am out
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Wonderful...two hearts that belong together connect forever...loved it...good luck...
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very nice!
my favorite line was "Color finally paints my life,"..this was a very sweet write....very heartfelt..i enjoyed reading it!
-Lu
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Yes love is the most powerful emotion and greatest gift we will ever have. Well expressed here my friend. Keep writing for words are worth more than gold.
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The image of sitting atop archways caught my attention - it's a perfect image of balance, purity, peace, serenity and temperance. I think it's a wonderful choice for a sort of metaphor for the relationship. I'm glad I had a chance to read this poem.
Cheers for the read!
Nocturne -
Sounds like a wonderful dwelling place for the heart!!!
Az
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'We sit atop archways, freely
scribbling promises into the metal.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.'
even the metal is softened down by sweet words of love...
a lovely evocation of strong feelings for a loved one.
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The sentiment behind the first two lines is touching. I had to reread the poem twice over to absorb it! This is a great love poem.
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Aw. This is a really cute poem; I sincerely hope you shared it with the girl you speak of in it. This one of the sweetest love poems I've read in a long time. There don't seem to be many poems out there focused on the beauty of love; instead they focus on the negative. The caliber of it is also astounding; you have taken a nugget of pure gold feeling, and through seemingly effortless labor, hammered it into a masterpiece of imagery, without losing any of the original feeling. Thank you sharing this with all of us; it is a truly wonderufl piece of poetry that is timeless in every sense of the word.
I would add applause, but I don't have any left. -
FINALLY! This was sooooo beautiful and gorgeous and everything a love poem should be and more. I know I can't shut up about it, but you two are so perfect for each other, and I'm so happy for you guys Blah blah I liked the free-verse, it helped it flow really smoothly. I loved! And I love you guys
Jeanette*~
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