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Travail and Venom

The vertex of torment is ubiquitous.

One – on my left
      Two – on my right
Everyone… with shifty eyes

Transient… shall be the night.

Certitude is a blank stare
      That of one with a rat's ear

Loquacious are the selfish
      And haunting are their vowels

Shadows lay dormant the sounds
      Of indistinct whispers with malicious intent

Full circle…

Words enter the head varied greatly from whence they were said
                                                   
              As I sit at the pinnacle of travail and venom.


By:  Jaye Eryk / Copyright ©2008

Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • amaranthine lover gold member
    July 1, 2008
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    it's interesting, I just didn't get it's intent.


    • 245Trioxin
      July 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Really? huh, of my 90 or so poems on here this is without a doubt one of the most black and white, and that's not my style. Interesting, no harm, no foul... well thanks anyhow.


  • Rianna Bear
    June 11, 2008

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    that last line was like a punch in the face. so awesome. i only wish you didn't use such words that make me run to my dictionary!! i'm shtoopid! well, good luck jaybee! this by all means, deserves some attention

    ♥rianna


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    May 28, 2008

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    Words enter the head varied greatly from whence they were said.....

    Words enter the head varied greatly from whence they were written by a great sceptic poet..

    Liked it, some words I can't translate right away but that's okay with you and me..isn't it??


    Huggies....
    hope all is well
    XXJeannette



  • notorious
    May 17, 2008

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    The pinnacle of eloquence!!!

    Comparatively short to your other poems, but equally as eloquent/bigly-worded.

    I like how the first line and the second stanza seem to tie in with each other--it's groovy.

    "Certitude is a blank stare
    That of one with a rat's ear"
    Rat's ear...LoL! Raw imagery much?

    "And haunting are their vowels"
    A very fancy way of referring to how one talks...nice.

    "Shadows lay dormant the sounds"
    Was there supposed to be a comma after 'dormant'?? It reads off in my head like there should be one, but then again, there might a genius technical explanation behind this.

    "As I sit at the pinnacle of travail and venom."
    I love the word 'pinnacle'--I haven't found a place to use the word yet, but you obviously have.



    • 245Trioxin
      May 17, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      You know me and not explaining, but nope, definitely no comma.

      As always, thank you for the wonderful comment.


  • ForeverLastingComa
    May 17, 2008

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    I'm assuming you are the person who commented on th contest page. wow those words are huge. my brain hurts now. you are Jaye Eryk right?

1 - 7 of 7