The cold blade presses into my arm
as the warm crimson dances down my skin
I need a breath
I'm drowning in pain
release me from this destruction
release me from myself
I am no longer who I wanted to be
my purity is black
and there is no where to hide
no one to run to
who can fix it
fix me
and all my errors
No one knows what goes on in my head
I dream of polluting my lungs
with the poison smoke my father taught me to hate
I desire to get lost elsewhere
in acids and mushrooms galore
the stuff my pure self would never tolerate
the stuff who ever i am now craves
and I long for that taste
of the sweet liquor to touch my lips
once more
and to get lost in the moment
once more
Yet I am not my mother
my body is my temple
and no poison shall come near me
yet I dream of being submerged in it
so here I sit
blood trickling down my arm
to purify my self once more
to rid myself of my dreams
my desire
my longing
and yet
the hurt will never pass
will it?
Author notes
I have NEVER done drugs and I pray to god i never do. I have smoked ANYTHING in my life and I hope I never do, I have drake but never excessivly and my life doesnt revolve around it and i hope it never does. I was born with my mom high on drugs and drunk, I have alcoholism and drug abuse in my blood and i never want to ever go down that path. I know for a fact i can control drinking but i know i would never be able to get out of drugs. Im already addicted to them with out them ever being passsed through my sistem on my will.
I grew up in a house where no one ever drank and i didnt even know what it was until i reached high school. Now here I am, a senior, i never party, i never do drugs, i have drank every once in a while but no big deal... its just currently hard to adjust to someone who does and a life involving it. He is off getting drunk right now with someone i dont trust at all and theres nothing i can do.... i shouldnt care but there is a heavyness on my heart that is crying for him not to. I get hes 24 but im 18 and its not right to me, its not normal to me... its not him to me....
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow thats all i can say its so deep dude i hope you dont mind if i give some advice but i feel its need form this poem so hear it goes find the sthranth within youself its your power becaues you control you and what u do in life it's hard yes but fight with all you might show all who stand before you that you love yourself and that the stranth you have within you can carry you to beautiful places so dont let anyone stand in you way and be who you are cause thats all that matters i thatnk its alsome that u have neve done drugs keep it up cause you will go far in life but most people know that any ways alsome poem dude just be yourself and don't let the bad get the best of you
eternalsol
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