genius is tantamount to time
perception
& the suggestion coveted
in words
no power
lies in passion
shoved down the throat
by minds
shackled in false security
write me elsewhere
in an other illusion
days become tiresome
endless running
one into another
til there seems no reason
to resist the thrust
the dull razor nicks ankles
& it doesn’t matter
the assurance of understanding
is at hand
Author notes
for Suzi
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I can tell that you
put a lot of thought
into everything you do. -
This is so fucking cool/real.
Definitly a bookmark for further dote...
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" write me elsewhere
in an other illusion "
Don't know why I want to say "in another illusion"
I think I'm just not reading it correctly and it's not your fault. I also understand what you mean with "an other illusion", just seems strange, that's all. I also noticed that if you were to change around that particular line you would have used the word "another" twice in this particular piece on the next stanza down. Mmmmm.
The rest of your poem is sound crazy goodness. Especially enjoyed "the dull razor nicks ankles" imagery. You can hear the poem has well as see it.
Like it.
;
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okay here's the thing, I reread this the other day and actually tripped over the "an other" and found myself wondering if I had done it intentionally or not. Pretty sad that I can't remember, interesting that you too picked up on it. Methinks I may edit it.
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I sometimes forget if some of the things I do were intentional. Think it has a lot to do with when we wrote it and when we read it again, afterwards. Some things we love might get a "huh, what was I thinking" and things that we didn't like much strangely become "good".
I'll be sure to check back and see what you've done. It won't be a big edit I know but this is worth reading regardless of what you decide to change.
;
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Ooo coollll this sounds awesome
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"write me elsewhere
in an other illusion"
sometimes i think that's all i ever do, but enough about me...lol
i like this a lot, especially the dull razors...
this is like strong black coffee
al
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we can all see, when we just open our eyes... it has bones this Jan. that rattle mine
love it.. love it
Gilly.x
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the doors of perception are always revolving
for the resolving
a small step
can become a leap
though having a foot, bones, and grinding teeth is given by gravity
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it's all in the weightlessness of that initial spring
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ohhhh
you!
You wrote what I held back, and how cool is that?
This has teeth, jan, lol, serious teeth, and I love that.
Crunch.
YDK
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it was already there, it's perception really
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