My cold feet on the sandy beach
I felt the salty breeze as I bit my lips
As my hair gets brushed aside by the cool wind
We walked, I smiled and grinned
The one thing I wanted was your touch
And thank God! you got my catch
As you hugged me and pulled me close
I held you tight for I know you are mine and I am yours
Not wanting to let go, hoping time would just stop
My heart thumping, it was making a huge flop
You grabbed my hands and said how tiny it was
High hopes, am I dreaming? Gosh I hope this lasts!
It grew darker and the warm sun set in vain
Just one single question, when will I see your face again?
A contest entry
- SHARING SOME LOVE by Whispering Wind.
700 points, ended May 16, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For everyone who has not yet won any trophy by LittleAnn.
600 points, ended June 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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First of all, sorry it took me so long to get to your entry.!
"Not wanting to let go, hoping time would just stop
My heart thumping, it was making a huge flop"
I think the rhyming here seems kind of 'forced'
Other than that, I think this is a good poem and I enjoyed reading it. A sweet and tender love poem...
Thank you for entering my contest!
Keep on writing!
Annie
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ohh.. thanx for the pointers will try to do better nx time..
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O' my this does touch the heart so softly...when will I see your face again
to love and then to wonder what will follow...sighs...niaish for sharing with me and for entering
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