Steady,
gravity pulls
seeping crimson lakes
down pastel nooks
and freckled valleys.
Cool white leather
stained
as the presence passes
and silently quakes.
Streams form
into warm dew drops
on awkward ledges
and fall
to unknown surfaces.
Reoccurrence sculpts riverbeds
into porcelain stone.
Permanent remembrance
of soothing waves.
Author notes
I chose the option of Self Harm.
A contest entry
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Reoccurrence sculpts riverbeds
into porcelain stone.
Permanent remembrance
of soothing waves.
wow. I really like this ending.
thanks so much for entering,
good luck
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great job
-
nice write.. i like poems on nature it brings out the beauty we live in some great imagery. nature is very cruel and unbiased in everything as well very nurturing at the same time. you took a more pleasant side of the nature.
the dews are beautiful and leave a wet serene to its surrounding a cleansing effect. you were able to capture the serene but not the effect.
i dint get your second stanza, why its is stained.. stained of what.. ??
i like your third para. few words expressed the whole origin of dew. that's your best para.
best of luck and thanks for entering -
this is really a show of a fine vocabulary and the use of imagery. I tried to picture things as I read ... cutting didn't really enter my mind and I don't think I took enough time with the read. It wasn't until I read the comments below and then it all came together. Thank you for entering
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Long whistle...
With a Ew! What a beautiful sounding poem. Not actually sure what could be behind the poem. It's a beautifully written poem great word useage and discriptive could be taken many different ways.
I see the connection with what Selithia left for a comment.
Great penning all around. There is a maturity growing with your poetry I can see.
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Referances to Cutting
I understood completely,i think.
First stanza
"Steady,
Gravity pulls
Seeping crimson lakes
Down pastel nooks
And freckled valleys"
Gravity pulls blood down desired surface of the cut.
Second stanza.
"Cool white leather
Stained
As the presence passes
And silently quakes"
Cutters clothes are stained from the blood,and cutter is shaking,with reverance perhaps?
Third stanza
"Streams form
Into warm dew drops
On awkward ledges
And fall
To unknown surfaces."
Blood seeps down to finger tips and falls to the ground,or whatever may await at the bottom.
fourth stanza.
"Reoccurrence sculpts riverbeds
Into porcelain stone.
Permanent remembrance
Of soothing waves."
Cutter has done it so many times that the blood has its own distinct pathway to follow upon future visits from the blade of cutters choice.
Or hell? Maybe its all about deer hunting and one being shot and running,bleeding every where?
I think my interpretation deserves a comment or two. Let me know if i was close. Beautiful read,overall. Very nice flow. I enjoyed this muchly.Cant wait to read more from you.
-Selithia
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well...
the way you put everything was beautiful and very pituresque. now, i got the idea that.. something went rong, like, the words 'fall' 'staned''freackled' 'silently quakes' and the last 2 phrases, i dont know... its... vary nice, i love it... but i am confused on what you are trying to portray, becuase you gave it a very nice look, and it doesnt seem like very much went wrong except with the falling and the staining.
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