falling short
gave up in middle at times
panting inside with desire
heart pounds
knocking bar
dream slips by inch
return to start
vault in hand
sweat at last found exchange
on altar of clearing the bar
Author notes
Athlete perseveres to clear bar time and again, until reaches the height finding altar of joy
A contest entry
- Altar by Polaja.
850 points, ended June 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is a great poem - I like the message that it slips into the mind of the reader
the only line that didn't sit well with me was the second - it just has a very choppy feel to it... I liked the take on the prompt thank you for entering
Keep writing
Polly
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ah yes, but ones pole seems to get weaker or is it the sun in my eyes? thankyou Venu, once again wisdom captured in a thimble.
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reaching height of joy..that in the author notes I love to my brother...it would be such joy for them.
To have your drem, to not give up and fight for it...to reach destination in the end
Well done my brother, good luck in the contest
Cindy
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