This mind I harbor has betrayed me in my sleep yet again;
for as the nights stole by, my perception of reality has blurred.
How a traitor my imagination was! My Judas! My mind!
I hid under the blankets as if it could protect me,
keep me safe from the demon that waited 'til I slumbered.
But what can I do with no more than mere fabric when even
a gun can't defend me from the foe I've brought into being?
I can sense it slinking in an abyss of my straying thoughts,
crouching in the silhouettes of my foolish mind's eye,
lingering at the back of my head, expecting its creator, --- me;
in a world where everything seemed so real, felt so real.
Where fear crawled beneath the skin that clung to my bone,
where dread was carried by the rain that hammered from aloft,
where shadows didn't exist, for Darkness itself feasted on them.
A civil war has broken out within the borders of my soul,
platoons from the land of the real and the imaginary;
no blood has been spilt, for words were used instead of bullets.
Deceiving voices, caressing my restless mind drowsy,
unhurriedly luring me to the place that plagued me.
However, irate voices began roaring, startling me,
compelling me to stay away from the monster's grasp.
The seductive whispers intensified, drowning the sense in me
as I wafted in surrender to the possessor of the murmurs.
I abdicated from the war, halted the feuding voices,
crumbling instantly into the palm of the devil, my incubus;
a cruel snicker prevailed, mocking me of my defeat.
And again, I was wide awake --- in my nightmare.
Author notes
BadBlood
OPTION 8::_
Nightmares.
you are the nightmare, you are having the nightmare, or your causing the nightmare. astound me on this people. I can think of ways to take this to the next level, and i want to see that.
A contest entry
- [[.Courtesy of a Raven's Blood.]] by Soten-Jaganshi.
1600 points, ended October 17, 2008, 58 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Originality: (8/10)
Emotion: (8/10)
Poetic devices: (15/20)
Structure/flow: (5/10)
Cohension: (7/10)
Title relating to poem: (9/10)
Personal opinion: (7/10)
Syntax: (7/10)
Diction: (7/10)
Total: (73/100) -
this felt like part of a book it should be hehe i hope you do well in the contest i love the darkness of this hehe dont break from it you could go places if you wrote a book like this hehe
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wow. such a stunning write. the storytelling and imagery were fantastic. well done
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wow. And here i thought i wasn't in the mood for the longer more complex poems but... WOW.
Great flow and imagery. It had a definite direction that it didn't stray from. Kudos. Welcome to the Preliminaries. -
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Thank you. I really appreciate it.
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