I'm tired of my life for many reasons
My mom and her boyfriend drink all the time
They rarely spend time with me and my sisters
They go out at night and make me watch them
They come up with a clever excuse such as,
"We are going out for coffee"
Lasts all night and till early morning, five days a week
My mom and I don't get along
She expects too much from me
More than I am just capable of doing
But when her expectations aren't met
I get punished and it's total bullshit
We have long fun arguments
Sometimes leads to her hitting me
Mom being scared that I will hit her
Lies saying "If u hit me your dad will beat your ass"
I would never do that but to her I am pure evil
Anything that goes wrong in the house is my fault
Something breaks or somethings missing
"Damon did it out of hatred of his mother" is what she thinks
She is very paranoid, everyone is out to get her
Her boyfriend is another award winning fucker
Treats my sister like shit and hurts her
Happy she's in pain, for all the lies she said that got me punished
But then protective brotherly love kicks in and tells me this isn't right
I am helpless, I don't have the power nor the trust from anyone to believe me
He's so selfish that he is number one even over his own daughter
Lies, talks shit behind your back and acts all buddy with you in person
Can't have the one thing I want most which is love
Not even from my mom she's never around and when she is we fight
My dad lives farther away and can only see him on weekends
Having a girlfriend is impossible for the fact of being grounded for months
Friends are being lost for lack of time spent together, can't build stronger bonds
Losing everything and everyone in my life, due to family being mental cases
My mom's side isn't happy till rumors are spread to make someone look bad, suffering
Dealing with emotions of sadness and pain of having no one and nothing
It's too extreme for someone my age, too fucked up to try to bare
I can't deal with this loneliness and feeling trapped in a hopeless situation
No matter how hard I try no one is happy, no one changes for the better
Maybe if I shed blood and tears, that will suffice for everything
Would life be better for everyone if I wasn't here to be a burden?
(Later that night I slit my throat and die)
Sisters find their brothers bloody lifeless body in the bathroom
The older sister closest to her brother cries nonstop not understanding why
Younger sister runs and tells mother, "brothers bleeding hurry* (crying)
Mother comes and says "Oh god why", searching constantly in her head for reasons
Mom's boyfriend acting like he cares but inside is relieved
Mom calling dad and telling him what happened, dad starts crying like a baby
Losing his only son and only he knew how truly amazing he was
Watching all this from the afterlife
I can do nothing but make it rain
From the tears I shed causing an emotional storm
Realizing the few that truly cared, how I left them behind unfairly
To have all the burden that was on my shoulders now moved to my older sister
No one deserves what I was going through, my dad didn't deserve a loss
Was I just being selfish in the end? Thinking only about my happiness?
Author notes
Prompt:I'm Tired Of My Life, I Want A New One
These are my thoughts of myself and these are some of the many situations I went through in my life that made living so difficult. I tried 3 times for suicide but failed. Hope this gives u some insight into my life. If u care thanks.
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie(Overnight) by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended May 16, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this made me cry, it must have been horrible. i won't say i know what it's like, because i don't. it's terrible how life and people can be sometimes. the fact that through it all you still stood by your sister, for one thing sets you far above them. it must be so hard living n a situation like that, they obviously have no clue about you. if they could see how amazing you are, i bet your mom and her boyfriend would be truly sorry and feel like asses. there are people that love you, care about you, and see how amazing you are. i'm so sorry that you were pshed to the extreme of suicide, but i'm just glad you're still here. i care and i'm sure many others do too. thanks for sharing this, it must have taken a lot to put it all out there. *hugs*
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Awww... I think you need a really big hug...
I won't say I understand, or that I'm sorry. I'll just say that I think it's terrible, that no one gives a damn about anyone anymore... It breaks my heart to see people like you live in the situations you do and the burdens you carry. I've been blessed not to have to, and yet, I still find fault in every thing......
Blessings to you. And thank you, for writing this. I needed to see this more than you'll probably ever know.
s
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so sadd.
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You tried SUICIDE?? Omg...I didn't know that. O.o
Im glad you didnt succeed.
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Ooh hun.. this really touched my heart!!! It made me cry!! lol.. silly I know but still.. Living in a family like that can make life seem like it's not worth living.. But there are people who care about you hun.. Though you may not live by them or might never see them, their there and they care.. I'm one.. and I care what happens!! You did a wonderful job in expressing how life is for you hun.. You really took the reader into your world if only for a little while.. You are such a strong person.. Best of luck in the contest hun...
Angel
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Well that interesting. I understand the need the for a new life. This old one blows. It's heart felt. I presume a free write also. The form could do a little more, but the emotions are strong the way it is. So all in all it depends on what you want. A great penned poem nonetheless and I wish you luck!
~Kystal Angel
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