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Tango

the full moon on the river
gazed blankly at us,
in medias res of
the fight in the carpark.
music rattles the windows
of the car I bought you
as we screamed at one another
of scientific failures
and emotional feats.
car doors slam,
and we walk arm in arm
through the door,
comfortably unhappy,
as if we were to enter
the mist of dreams.
do si do in ballet slippers,
smile back at the happy faces
in this total chaos
draped with tattered decorations.

this was the last dance.

Author notes

The list I used:
the fight in the carpark
-pania
full moon on the river
-pania
mist of dreams
-azure85
comfortably unhappy
-trista
scientific failures
-trista
do si do
-judyjudyjudy
ballet slippers
-judyjudyjudy
music rattles the windows
-pania
in medias res
-Aerden
happy faces
-pania
total chaos
-pania
the last dance
-pania
tattered decorations
-pania


The list I made:
raining memories (claimed by azure85)
bitter kisses (claimed by Pamela A Lamppa)
faithless believer (claimed by trista)
hold me close (claimed by pania)
defenseless protector (claimed by ea)
seventy-seven heavens (claimed by trista)
kings and queens (claimed by Aerden)
plastic engagement rings (claimed by Pamela A Lamppa)
fallen eyelashes (claimed by judyjudyjudy)
unwanted wishes (claimed by pania)
goodnight kisses (claimed by judyjudyjudy)
alone in the office (claimed by judyjudyjudy)
flirting through text
thief's embrace (claimed by pania)
the final scene of this love team
midnight blue dawn
golden evening
stale cigarettes (claimed by judyjudyjudy)
still reeking of last year's regret (claimed by Pamela A Lamppa)
bits of you and me glued together
torn between sense and sensibility
the stranger asking for my number (claimed by judyjudyjudy)

A contest entry

Dance with me?

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • sense surreal gold member
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my this is really good...such a clear picture
    I feel like an uzi...

    I was caught staring at their comments of 'may I have this dance' before reading the whole piece and when I saw your a/n...you have written something out from their masterpieces and create one of your own...

    Congrats with the Bronze, it's nice to see your name on over here of you coming back...


  • just mercedes gold member
    May 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A sad picture, so well painted. This was the last dance. Thank you for the dance.


  • azure85 gold member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent use of the your phrases, you constructed atory in itself in your poem! The car door slamming, wowzers, leading into the last dance.

  • ea silver member
    May 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol, I was thinking you needed the car doors slam that I claimed for this as I as reading, and I see you did take it, which is great! I learned a couple new things from this, in media res being one. It takes two to tango and you proved that here... well done on this emotionally evocative piece. Thank you!

  • Judith Chandler
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    alone in the office - May I have this dance?

  • Judith Chandler
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? - the stranger asking for my number


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? still reeking of last year's regret

  • Judith Chandler
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    stale cigarettes - May I have this dance


  • just mercedes gold member
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? - thief's embrace

  • Judith Chandler
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance - goodnight kisses

  • ea silver member
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    defenseless protector - may I have this dance?

    Here's the tune we're dancing to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcyAwI95iiQ


  • Aerden gold member
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? Kings and queens

  • Judith Chandler
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? - fallen eyelashes


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? plastic engagement rings


  • trista gold member
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? seventy-seven heavens


  • just mercedes gold member
    May 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? - unwanted wishes


  • azure85 gold member
    May 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Raining memories-May I have this dance?


  • trista gold member
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? Faithless believer


  • just mercedes gold member
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? Hold me close


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    May I have this dance? = "bitter kisses"

1 - 20 of 20