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sleepless night

^-^
sanity lost in whirlpools of coffee filled nights
confusion in incoherent smiles
an halucinated reality,

Author notes

bleh i dun like it

A contest entry

thoughts, suggestions, criticism, ideas, questions? anything?

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Comments


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a hallucinated

    Nicely taken.


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm ... perhaps something like:

    sanity lost in whirlpools of coffee ...

    incoherent smiles flicker hallucination

    sugar cubes and plums dance ...

    Still some great imagery in your quickie!

    Steve


    • SoulfulBubbles
      May 16, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      yes i think i would like to add more/rearrange it its all off to me i am not that great with quickies(even more so when i am half asleep) but heythats why i am practicing

      and your bit is very beautiful


      • Solo Wisp gold member
        May 17, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        You didn't do all that bad really ... sleep and practice will help though.

        And ty, but all that was is stolen creativity, jumbled up a bit to create something more coherent to my liking ...

        Keep practicing those quickies!

        Steve