Your eyes.
That's where all my hope lies.
Those sweet eyes that never lie;
But still don't tell me why;
I get lost in your brown eyes.
One look and all doubt dies.
In my dreams I see only you;
But I know they won't come true.
Author notes
i kno it wasnt in the list of songs but the song it goes with is Her eyes and i dont remember who sings it.
A contest entry
- Prewrites But NO "fresh" writes by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended June 6, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything-prewrites allowed-2nd contest by Midgetbridgey.
350 points, ended July 11, 2008, 245 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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haha, our eyes is the name of a song as well by teddy geiger
I will comment after the contest finishes
Best of Luck
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it felt so song like reading it...this could easily grow into so much more in my opinion great words
Cindy
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OKAY ...
Your eyes.
That's where all my hope lies.
Those sweet eyes that never lie;
but still don't tell me why;
I get lost in your brown eyes.
One look and all doubt dies.
In my dreams I see only you;
but I know they won't come true.
That's the optimal punctuation. There are other variations, but that will do. -
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every two lines is a sentence together but you could separate them like that too
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The word "but" ...
in English, indicates a compound sentence, so it must be preceded by a comma or a semi-colon. -
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considering as to how by them selves each line is an incomplete sentence the word but or comma and or semi-colon are not necessary lol its ok tho i edited it
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Check your punctuation ...
and read the rules ... poems entered in my contest must be punctuated, particularly rhymed poems.
The poem is not bad otherwise.
Thanks for entering. -
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I'm implying that the rules say ...
poems should be punctuated. -
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you said properly punctuated and it was but I added the punctuation any way if its not what you wanted just let me kno and ill fix it
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poetry isn't like paragraph writing commas aren't necessary when using lined poems if thats what you are implying you can use them but they aren't necessary
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Short and to the point. I enjoyed this cute little piece. Emotion and Imagery, my two favies.
Could you do me a favor and put which lyrics you used in the AN?
xxx
pixie -
i loved it
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