The road before me is strange and new,
Where this road leads I never knew.
The road I am leaving behind is old and gray,
There is now no reason left to stay.
I am moving on.
What should I do?
Should I run along this road with arms outstretched,
Or should I walk slowly, cause I haven't figured it out yet.
There is a haze before me, I cannot see.
Thoughts flood through me like the raging sea.
My time has come, the hour is here,
Memories brush past, like wind through my hair.
I am leaving this life behind, I have to go.
But I am taking with me, all the things I now know.
I am moving on.
A contest entry
- Where are you going, where have you been? Photo Inspiration by shepherd23.
600 points, ended May 29, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What emotions (if any) does this poem evoke in u
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i do not see any structure here. where is the structure you were talking about in my poem, which had structure. it is a good poem, but i see no structure.
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The structure of this poem follows a simple rhythm method, it is as follows:
Stanza 1: a,a,b,b,c
Stanza 2: a,b,b,c,c
Stanza 3: a,a,b,b,c
The common thread between them is the concept of travelling, or moving on. Hope that answers your question. -
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we can all rhyme and say it is a form but... i am all for experimenting with beats and forms i do it often just to be awkward but if you are learning new then the format will help then you can move into doing your own way. it's not all about abc etc
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well ok thanks for your insight
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yes but there is no beat
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I like this. It creates a feeling of expectation, excitement, in the reader. You've brought me to a place I've been many times before. A place in life when I have a new opportunity, a new start.
"My time has come, the hour is here,
Memories brush past, like wind through my hair."
beautiful image. Lovely poem. Well done.
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Thanks for your entry!
good flow throughout...
Lines I liked especially:
"Thoughts flood through me like the raging sea"
"But I am taking with me, all the things I now know"
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i really liked how you wrote this. well done!
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