Head bowed, she softly cries,
relives the lonely desperate day;
Lost dreams are merely lies,
She let him slip away...
Feel free to comment..and please read my other work..
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Scary title... wasnt expecting something so sad... but I guess being alone is one of the greatest fears. Neat how you used the semi-colons at the end to add meaning and visual mirroring of the line.
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It's Perfect
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finally a poet like me that
leaves the roget's at home
and speaks simply and from the heart..bravo
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A beautiful write...
Many blessings
~A~
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I love the title, it's amazing. I can understand the words you have written and can imagine the stories and details between the lines for those who can relate, I'm afraid things like this likely happens far too often.
So very sad, but wonderfully expressed.
♥
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Enjoyed this Matt, but I enjoy all your work. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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very nicely written worked great with the title
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Wow melancholy blues sing out in such few words. Such an efficient use of words and yet so soft. I am very impressed!
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Ouch this is so sad, wonderful are your lonely words in this short yet perfect write.
Julie
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Sigh.. well you already know that I'm going to connect with this piece!
I have been here... beautifully expressed!
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Ah. The contrast in the title ...
is simply brilliant: two ordinary words, linked to form almost an overwhelming reality of sorrow.
Daydream turned nightmare, indeed. And: the mourning heart is in remorse ...
Well done, Poet. Very atmospheric.
Love
Myra
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Short, simple and effective. You have expressed yourself very well in four short lines and left little unsaid. I like it!
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good
Very well written with strong emotion tugging at the heart strings. The author uses good imagery and maintains a poetic flow through the whole piece. Your poem say a lot with little wording and that is hard to do. Nice flow of words and a pleasant sounding poem.
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i like it
i can relate to this very well....i remember the day
i let my love slip away....and this poem describes
how i have felt since that dreadful day
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Wow...such a short poem with powerful imagery!
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Wow!!
Lost dreams are merely lies.. It makes me sigh.. You bring out sadness in such few lines. It's amazing. Think - Fallen Angel. But the more you try to hold one, the more easy it is for someone to get away. It's like grasping soft sand. Tears are the only real emotion these days. Loved it~!
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Oh, it didn't take many words to express the agony of this feeling. Lost dreams are merely lies, that much is so true. I had a bolt of pain reading this one.
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...WoW!! This simple but wonderful write brought tears to my eyes....This penned master piece sums up most of my past. Thank you for this write!!!
~*Cristy*~ -
And this is why I favorited you: You're amazing
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What a powerful write. Congrats on the silver. Very well done.
Garrison
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Wow. A powerhouse of emotion packed into a tiny frame, this one speaks volumes. It reaches out and snags one in the heartstrings.
...and look! You've won a Silver. *{smiles with pride}* Well done! Congrats!
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What beauty in sadness...very creative with lovely flow...well deserving of the Silver...Congrat's to you on a wonderful piece...
:
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Aww so sad yet beautifully written!
Congrats on the well deserved Silver
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How beautifully engaging and sincerely poetic. This is certainly different to the others and flows like the finest of wines... x
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Wonderful take on the prompt. We all, at one point or another, wonder the what ifs about decisions that had to be made pertaining to love and the future there of. We dream of "it" all at once, not realizing that we cannot have our cake and eat it too. So, we are faced fulfilling the stomach.. or the hands. Unfortunately, there are some choices in life that cannot be reversed. Love is so often one of those choices. An enjoyable read. Best wishes in the comp
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this is a wonderful take on the promt, and it happens all too often that someone becomes desprate enough to relize what they had, and it slipped right between her fingers, (personal expirance) nice flow and great word choice, keep up the writing, good luck in the contest -Amy
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