Sleeping the day away
upside down on the couch.
A mailslot in the door opened,
With a box of light, indiscriminately.
A set of eyes.
The voice.
"You got your rent?"
Silently,
I put my pants on,
and let the question
answer itself.
Author notes
Written December 22nd, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I love the simplicity of the piece. It's great that you can take such a mundane moment in time and turn it into something interesting. Great job and good luck in the contest.
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Nice...very nice... you made the best of free-verse...I enjoyed this one. It leaves you hanging, thought-provoking, all I was looking for in this contest. Thank you for entering and good luck.
~Anastasia -
*raised eyebrow*
hmm, i am pondering what would become of me if mi land lord caught sight of that....
lol
how red did ye turn??? damn, must remember to tape that slot shut.
arden -
thats crazy i like it
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Lovely
Ooooh...lovely snapshot of a brief slice of time. The free-form verse works nicely here.
Thanks for sharing
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Very good poem! Kinda leaves ya hangin though. Overall very very good job. Keep writing. I like your work.
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Lol. Very nice. I don't know what the answer is, my mind can take it a lot of ways. But cool, very cool. I like the style of it.
1 - 7 of 7




