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The Garden

Vibrations hum,
scattering the hive
amongst armies of flowers
displaying yellows, reds, violets, pinks-
ethereal melody
sweeping through
this blooming city
of petals and bees,
music of nature's harmonious belief.

Author notes

30 words - Symphonic Garden

A contest entry

Give me a critical thought.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • ecrivain01
    June 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    PS

    I'd go with "amongst" myself.


    • Scion
      June 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the heads up. yeah, I wish the bees would revitalize... I see them sometimes in the mountains here... away from people. thanks for the feedback. Cheers

  • ecrivain01
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    So you still have bees?

    I haven't seen a honeybee in years. They tell me that honeybees are disappearing due to a parasite that kills them, and cell phones, which supposedly mess up their "radar" so they can't go home again.

    Anyway, that aside, this is a very good poem.


  • Arkbear gold member
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hi there :)

    Lovey write :)

     

    I think you meant...*amongst*...3rd line?

     

    You have brought a very pretty picture to my mind with your chosen words ~

     

    Very pretty indeed :)

     

    Good luck to you and your entry,

     

    God bless,

     

    Bear ~

    • Scion
      May 19, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      No, thank you. Your contests are always so imaginative and with such beautiful entries in each one. Keep 'em coming and I will keep on writing. Cheers.


  • islekine silver member
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Best wishes in the contest!

    Write on!
    *PEACE*


    • Scion
      May 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you much. and congrats on the silver.


  • Pretty Britty
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the imagery in this.
    It's a short piece, but
    you can feel yourself in the garden.
    With the sights and the sounds...
    Great!

    • Scion
      May 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for the comment- and for stopping by again.
      I need to get one more often and return the favor to your wonderful poetry as well.

1 - 9 of 9