Tears stain my School Uniform
as I look upon the year
I spent a lot of it talking to you
but it never felt real
You changed the person I was
I became more experienced
You were a sweet-talker and got me to do anything
but it never felt real
Did I sacrifice my old self for something untrue?
Why did i loose myself for you?
I want to be mad at you but I can't
because it was never real
I suffered all the symptoms of a crush
The usual leap of the heart when I saw you
The flirtatious eyes when I spoke to you
but it was never real
Now you are gone for now
Going on with your life
Without a care in the world
Because it was never real
Leaving me stranded
a new but lesser person than I was
Guilty feelings engulf my mind
Of all the lies I told
All the things I did
And all of the secrets I am forced to keep
I still care for you
My heart still leaps
And I still feel
I want to be mad at you
But you are you
And I am me
I have so many regrets
I wish I could turn back time
and make it my preference
because I wish it was real
A contest entry
- Conflict With Your Inner Self by hand-in-hand.
450 points, ended May 21, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
self guilt
Comments
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Wow. I know exactly where you're coming from; I have been there too. It sucks, but it gets a little better with time. On the upside, that was a great write. I absolutely loved it. You have a great talent you can use to sort out whatever life throws at you. Good luck and keep on writing
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Identical Twin Sister! Nova, I've not seen anything on here from you in a long time, but clearly your writing has not detereorated since your last write! Typo in the third stanza -- "loose" should be "lose". Anyhow, I totally know where you're coming from, as I nearly had to face the same thing (had it not been for a random streak of amazing blessings). Good luck in your situation, and keep on writing!!
<3 Erin
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