I’ve tried so hard to please everyone else
I have no time to please myself.
With each passing day, I hate myself more
And each passing day, I dread what’s in store.
Sometimes I just wish to feel the blade
Of a freshly sharpened knife, the color of jade.
Slicing into my skin, prick by prick
Until my life is ended, my flesh and blood slick.
I cry when I’m upset, I feel pain when I’m hit
I bleed when I’m cut, and I’m charmed by wit.
I’m only human, I’m not perfect, I’m not the best around
But I try my hardest, and yet I still hear the sound.
The painful sound of death, calling me day by day
Suicide is an option, and I see no reason to stay.
Slowly I lose my friends, and the ones I love most, too
And people think I’m hideous, even though I know it’s not true.
No one knows me, because I don’t know myself
I’m scared all the time, of me and my health.
Have I gone mental, am I really this unstable?
Or is this all some cleverly written fable?
Maybe I’ll never know
Maybe there’s no life after death
Maybe I’ll end up a drug
Maybe someone’s meth.
All I know is that the pain is real
And every day I think of ending it, just to feel.
Please release me from this earth-bound hell
Before I hear the darkest death’s bell.
Be Honest.
Comments
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good work keep it up!
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I have been there before hun and know this even though you don't know me I am a friend to you and everyone on here. Keep writing it helps with the healing. Thanks for sharing this with us on AP. Stacy72
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Oh..I have been right where you are at one point in time. I am sorry you are struggling so much. But don't ever give up; you are young and there are always people willing to help. Reach out,ask for help. It gets better..I promise you! This write expresses your feelings of depression and frustration so well. Keep writing as it can be so healing. I wish you the best..Blessings, Patty
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