Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

I don't want you!

 

I felt all your sadness

I saw into your eyes

It wasn't me you wanted

It was us that you despised

 

Did I not love you 

Did I never hold you tight

Did I never please you

In the silence on the night 

 

I held your hand

then walked out of the door

I am sorry sweet child

I don't want you any more

 

Your tears fell silently

your eyes burned like fire 

yesterday my lover

today not my desire

 

Did I not sex you

Did you not feel the burn

did you ever ask me

Weather i wanted a turn 

  

I held your hand

then walked out of the door

I am sorry sweet child

I don't want you any more

 

Now you see me waving

as I climb into the cab

Do you feel the heartache

Can you take the stab

 

I never really loved you

I only took the ride 

Go back into your mind

Go and find a place to hide 

 

I held your hand

then walked out of the door

I am sorry sweet child

I don't want you any more

  

Can you hear me laughing

Can you see my grin

Can you hear me telling them

of where the hell Iv'e been

 

Now I see you crying

alone there in your rain

I don't give a flying fuck

for any of your pain! 


I held your hand

then walked out of the door

I am sorry sweet child

I don't want you any more

 

 

Author notes

-when it's time to say goodbye...

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • SincerelyMegan
    May 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "I held you hand"

    maybe replace "you" with "your"


  • livia michelle
    May 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    typically I don't like rhyming poems but this one is f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c.

    I like how you keep repeating the stanza that says I don't want you anymore, it ties the whole thing together really well

    awesome job & good luck


  • craftyangel43
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An awesome write...i loved the way you put your feelings out there. Great job, well done.
    Hugs,
    Cheryl

  • livia michelle
    May 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    20, too many?
    No way!
    the more the better.

    ok here are you choices::
    (please put the one you choose in the author's notes)
    -nowhere to hide
    -good girls doing bad things
    -when it's time to say goodbye
    -the world is just awesome
    -Don't you know you're unlike any other?

    hope you're inspired by at least one of the prompts

    • Unsigned gold member
      May 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      firstly I totally agree...you will never meet anybody like me! secondly..I guess the rest are the prompts....

      Now youngster what I meant to say...in my broken English is that 20 poets without a prompt is normally too many...hope it isn't...no where to hide? there is never anywhere tom hide...well done for the interesting prompts and congrats on your first comp.....no I guess it is time to say fare thee well....and the world is awesome (crap)....good girls doing bad things you most def do ot want me writing about as I only know those sort!

      Unsigned...

1 - 8 of 8