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No Longer

 

   Stormy clouds arrest my mind,

   churning memories asunder

   Your light faded fast my love

   The spell you placed me under

 

   On stone I kneel in somber tone

   reflecting all your lies

   Tarnished love with ebony,

   my soiled spirit cries

 

   Sands seconds slowly trickle through

   No longer will I think of you!

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic, 20-50 words (just scarped in lol)
****CREDIT PICTURE..LAST CHANCE BY DIANAR87..FROM DEVIANTART*****

(I have this kind of self protection thing.. if I break up with a partner, I allow myself a set period of time to grieve, then I pick myself up and say no more!)

In a list

A contest entry

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • secberm
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    I'm gonna comment now because I can't have you with 69 clappies. I gotta give you 70, 71, and 72. Oh, and I hate the term "clappies" on this comment so I'll go with applauses. Gonna read now. Hope you smile on this. One.

    Dez


    Ahhh... Lovely.


  • Weltt gold member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    Have to agree with Moluv. Im a big fan of your rhyming pieces, (not that I don't absolutely love everything else you've ever written ) they flow beautifully, never seeming the least bit forced and always dripping with vivid imagery and fresh ideas. another fabulous silver from you!!!


  • PrInCeSsOfRoCk
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    yup takes time to get over a person and then you just move on and pretty much forget bout them. well expressed. well done on the silver deserved it.


  • moluv10 gold member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love to read your rhyming pieces. They flow so well. Wonderful take on the pic. Congrats on the silver. Keep up the great work.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the silver!

    Wow a gorgeous poem, so nice to see you rhyme now and then I love this, powerful ending. Congrats on a well earned silver


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Jacks---YOU RHYMED!! You Won a SILVER!!!
    OMG---I'm Gonna Have an Orgasm!


  • arafura
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    Another excellent write my friend! You are on a roll!


  • Ravensdark gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the way the poem decended into into sorrow, then emotion hardened and denied the pain denied the sorrow, it shows strength of character.....Great poem


  • Valley Girl silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow hun! Such a strong write! This is so sad, but so powerful at the same time. I can relate to this one well! Congrats on the Silver!


  • poppa silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow ...another write that does the pic justice....and another shiny bling... congrats


  • xsaphicxbutterflyx
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    gosh, you are amazing! your writes are always great and relatable. i wish i had the kind of strength you do. well i do sometimes, just.. barely ever. =] im working though. and writes like this are definatly encouraging and help me want to fight to achieve that stregnth.
    greath write and congrats on the silver! it was well deserved!

  • ardentMarch gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    "Your light faded fast my love
    The spell you placed me under"

    sometimes...this happens...when love does not take its time...this is really good...congrats on the silver


  • azlyn gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Perfection Sis!


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    You are a strong woman Jacks. Great write, and congrats on the silver dear.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • Carolina Moon
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Another brilliant write! You are amazing my friend, simply amazing. Your words hold so much life in them, whether happy or sad, you always make them shine! Congrats on the silver!!!


    Linda


  • midnite wolf silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    wow, fantastic write hun, so full of emotion, its so beautiful i dunno what to say, congrats on the much deserved silver.

  • Bob Fox
    May 15

    Edit | Reply

    My friend

    The lady who has such radiance and beauty yet always bears the sadness in her heart. he gods at times are just not fair. But I think I will see you in the Silver age and we both shall smile.


  • Lost Vampyre Angel gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    ooh wow this is great,
    all the words just roll of your tounge,
    and your vocab is amazing,
    i love the rhyme and all,
    best of luck in the contest,

    love Kitty


  • KayJay46 gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful take and lovely rhyme scheme... You are a master of thoughtful poetry... Well done.
    Ken


  • Tattboyspet gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    WONDERFUL rhyming! (always envious when I see things like that coz I can't rhyme to save my life!)

    You have captured the picture so very well here! great take on the prompt! well done!


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      May 15

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! Haven't done a lot of rhyme lately so appreciate you saying that!

  • Margaret Denham gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully poignant honey, I could feel the pain flowing from your words.

    Love Margaret


  • fortyninereasons silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Your soft smooth words flowed into a soothing piece. Well done. Juls


  • CinfullyDelicious gold member
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    The rhyming just made it read so smooth like rolled ofs the tongue..easy so easy to red could have read more lol

    It had that somber tone..like your words used..I felt it well done

    A great take on the picture, I really like this

    Thank you and good luck


  • Lil-Bit Crazy silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    wow you did awesome... great job here... wow

    thanks for sharing... goooood luck in contest... hugs...

  • buffsab99 silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Great take on this prompt hun, her smile says she is moving on from him


  • crimsondew silver member
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent at your hour, you did rhyme and good flow, determination through sorrow....Like it!


  • crimsondew silver member
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    All the best..I saw the picture you will
1 - 29 of 29