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Drowning in Shadows

Hatred for my noncomplying muse,
This ever-dying fuse;
The rusing of my pen is loosing,
The tricky path I find in the shadows,
In the dark and eerie gallows of my mind,
I'm blind as I seek out the light,
Fighting against my silhouette sight,
In spite of all I cry for rescue;
No one comes,
I'm alone, again,
And for the final time;
I die.

A heard scream could save me,
Rid me of the darkness i'm in,
These shadows I bathe in,
I rest in oblivion.

A contest entry

Domz - a bit of an unusual write for me - a change if you will. lol

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • subliminal girl
    May 20, 2008

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    You truly stepped into the black shadows and joined me in darkness here... and did a great job. Well written, with a great end to it - screams of desperation that remain unheard!

    Best of luck


  • Li snuffles
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write dom boy, i loved it and your rhyme scheme is amazing... your muse comlied in this piece anyways thats for sure

    amazing babe... we'll all scram to your rescue "ARGGGGHHHH"

    lol...xxx

    good luck in the contest babe...


    • Domz101
      May 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      cheers babe

      'rescue me!'
      la la la la di la
      lol
      thanks for the comment doll!
      lurve yee!
      xxx

      • Li snuffles
        May 19, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Rescue me
        Oh take me in your arms
        Rescue me
        I want your tender charms
        'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
        I need you and your love too

        come on and rescue me....hmmm

        love...!....xxx


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The beautiful dark indeed! I loved it... and have felt that before for sure!

    • Domz101
      May 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers

      sweet, i thank you kindly, don't really see anything in this, but lisa marie, says its good and whatever the missus says goes so...lol, thanks again Jacks - domz


  • Angelflower
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well what to say..lol.This was a beautiful write hun..I really loved this.. you write so wonderfully even when it's sad and dark ..lol. I loved this.. I wish you the best of luck hun..

    Angel

    • Domz101
      May 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Angel, this is my first attempt at the deep deep writing, didn't quite penn the way I wanted, but I still like it for a first attempt, thanks again - oh have you read the other applicants of the contest? they're great writes, cheers again, domz

      • Faded Dawn
        May 19, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        So few of the good poems actually feel right. I hated both the poems that won me trophies. I did enjoy this one though, and I noticed little things that might be why you don't feel too strongly about it. Don't worry, your intentions are really meaningless. What matters is the readers perception.

        Good luck in the contest. ^_^

        • Domz101
          May 19, 2008
          Edit | Reply

          thanks for that

          right on, i think i'd rather have the reader explain to me about how they feel the poem went, nice one!
          yeah, i get you, thanks mate!!
          cheers again, domz

1 - 10 of 10