Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Web of Deceit

Shattered faith
perches on my shoulder
like a hooded vulture;

awaiting its chance
for all movement to cease,
then feast
on what's left

  ...Slim pickings, my friend.

What price is trust?

You took my friendship,
my faith, my kindness
and my devotion

and you threw it in my face
like so much
meaningless dust.

I hang my head;
the tears make tracks
in my grimy face;

    ...the vulture ruffles it feathers






Author notes

Dedicated to someone who has recently left Allpoetry, taking any explanation with them... I hope they read this some day and feel a stab of remorse for all those who have been betrayed and hurt.

"Pickle cheezballz"

~ paperparadox

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • blondone silver member
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    Strong and powerful emotions I find here trust can be a heartbreaker this is for sure sometimes I think we just don't know what we have until it's gone...


  • Winklings gold member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply

    Bitterness

    through rejection by another is an emotion scored more painfully by a trusted friend simply walking away. The vulture metaphor beautifully begins and ends the poem.
    The sweetest natured people are ironically the most vulnerable but friendship scorned brings anger: "...the vulture ruffles it feathers". This is a very human poem, Lou. Thank you. Ron.


  • going nowhere
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    this is an INCREDIBLE write... wow...
    and then to read the author's notes left a chill...
    i hope this does well in the contest. it is one of the best i have read. although i can only applaud with 3 clappies, this deserves much more.


  • CorkyMorbid
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    I've felt like this too many times in the past few years...I like it alot; it puts my OWN emotions into words.

  • dustookie2
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    There are many ways to take this poem but the venting of spleen is good no matter where it fits into the readers life....friendship starts with learning how to be a friend a two way street built on trust and to feel betrayed by the closeness of a friend leaves you feeling hurt...getting that hurt out into open may help but the answers can only come from the one who has hurt you....ruffled feathers but who is there to smooth them....we all learn from these friendship that are based on false lies there is no real sold ground and the foundation will always crumble so in the end there are no winners only sorrow for all involved....Penned from the heart and i do hope it helps you work it all through.


  • dreamdragon6484
    May 15

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    very good write!
    friendship is a fragil thing and some can always throw away what was given in love whit out any thought.
    good luck in the contest


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my...I do know of whom you write and I understand the anger, the frustration at being left without explanations...it hurts to have friendship thrown back in your face so carelessly, when it was given in good grace at the start. There are many fences to mend here but I hazard a guess that they are way too high to ever get over. z it had to be written. Love, C

1 - 7 of 7