Hush little baby, don't you cry,
daddy's gonna sing you a lullaby.
Nothing ever seems to go just right,
his hand is gonna shatter your prayers tonight.
Can you feel my tears burning, watch them streak;
pain sears through, I'm too little and too weak.
I can't fight back, no one hears my screams;
all alone, where's God gone, as my heart pulls at the seams.
Help me, hear my body thud across the floor;
I'm so tiny, but hope has fled out the door.
My soul, like a mournful wind does it moan;
my heart once whole, now fragments, shattered and strewn.
See the glitter, like diamonds, rubies, and sapphires;
those are my soul, blood, and tears in a downward spiral.
They have no voice - silent, broken, and bled;
my spirit, my being - their death is on his head.
Hush growing girl, now don't you cry,
daddy's "fun" always sings you a lullaby.
Living may seem like it's lost all it's life,
but just push on, push on through the strife.
Blistering hand-print across my cheek
where blushing roses should bloom, and it's bleak.
Wrestle, fight, struggle, my breath suffocating -
trapped, pinned down, forced into staying.
I am frightened, terrified, crouching in my bubble;
a quiver, a shiver, avoiding any and all trouble.
A cat paws, plays, pounces on this helpless mouse;
a fatherless girl, fathered by a louse.
"How can the fatherless be fathered?" ask some.
He may have seeded me, but he's the lowest of earth's scum.
He brought me existence, my body into living;
but he doesn't control my inner, or possess my meaning.
Hush tired teen, don't sob, don't cry;
never more does daddy sing his lullaby.
It hurts, but hold on real tight;
some day everything will be set just right.
Daddy hit rock bottom, and now he's gone;
I loved him, but he had to move on.
He left me stranded, abused me badly, but I needed his love;
needed to be daddy's girl, a daughter he could be proud of.
Anger, hate, melded into each vein;
fury fueled me, and my fury was insane.
I despised him so thoroughly, so completely, so well,
but a longing burns within me, burns like fire in hell.
Snapped, snapped, entirely in two;
I shouldn't desire what's lost, but I do.
I ache to fill the empty gap of what could've been -
of someone loving, a father...someone not like him.
Hush young woman, you still cry,
cus' daddy never sang love's lullaby.
I know it's hard to face each night.
Why couldn't daddy dearest just treat you right?
They say: "children are resilient"
or: "she's young enough to forget it"
Am I not strong, and truly a survivor?
On the outside I am, but inside I may never recover.
Those knives may never have pierced my skin;
but they sliced beneath the surface of this shell I live in.
I don't deny, I've hidden every single scar;
people often do, appearing to be more than they are.
I want you to understand, but I just can't stand
being vulnerable, open, revealing my hand.
The irony is, I want you to know, see, and care;
but I'd have to stop concealing pain that's not supposed to be there.
A contest entry
- Give me your favorite write by lilblueeyesmine1978.
390 points, ended July 7, 2008, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abused??? Let it known! Scream it out, tell the world about it. by starving-to-survive.
1700 points, ended February 3, 99 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how much hell have you been through by Ami.
550 points, ended May 12, 71 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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art
I've always wanted to do somthing with the "Hush little baby" lullaby, I keep hearing what you've written going through my head being sung by evonescense (mispelled i know sorry) I couldnt help but feeling rage and an honor bound sence of protection burning through me reading this, if wanting to be understood and felt was your mission you sucseded in every level my dear a masterpiece of life, pain, and most of all the sence of need of love from our parents no matter what they do to us, even after what my grandfather did to me as a child I can't help but want his praise or pride, it sickens me that on some level i still want anything from him, amazing read I'm just floored
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Genius! this is a masterpiece at its best. I dont think i have read something that has moved me like this...ever! i cant stop crying, both because your words are so heart breaking and because it reminds me of my life. I can relate to every word here.
I am so so sorry for you pain. Your word choice here is impecible.
Thank you for entering my contest, i am honoured to read such brilliant work.
If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to message me. I am here for you -
wow so much emotion. i hope this is not your true story but if it is then please know from someone with expeeriencee in these matters thta the pain never eally goes completely away but it does get better i promise. lots of love that hopefully finds you well.
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thanks...it is, and I know...but thanks again, so much.
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this single peice of work has more emotion, more feeling, more everything than I could imagine writing, an outstanding peice, simply outstanding
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thanks so much!!!
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wow this is so very beautiful. the emotions... the pacing the tones the voice... the sadness.... the endurance..
the pain..
and i really relate to this whole piece...
"I want you to understand, but I just can't stand
being vulnerable, open, revealing my hand.
The irony is, I want you to know, see, and care;"
beautiful..
- kass
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Thank you...it took a lot of emotion...this was probably the most difficult piece I have ever written.
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This is a beautiful bit of your soul youve exposed here.
Sounds like you have been through too much, but are struggling your way through it. Better than not struggling at all... Absolutely wonderful write...Hope it somehow helped to get it out.
I cannot think of a less gross way to say it, but sometimes a good poem like this is the only way to throw up that old pain...cleansing in a way. It helps to get it out.
"Hush young woman, you still cry,
cus' daddy never sang love's lullaby.
I know it's hard to face each night.
Why couldn't daddy dearest just treat you right?"
My favorites lines... so true for so many of us!
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It is cleansing...I don't know...I wrote it just to prove that I could. That I'm not conquered...sometimes, I just have to do it, force myself through it, to prove to myself that I can...that I won't let myself be hindered and controlled.
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Damn this was very hard to read. So very, sad.
But very, very well written!!!
I may be a complete stranger who knows nothing at all about you, but you are so very strong!!
So this is me admiring your incredible strength!!
-Ash
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It was hard to write, too...and thanks. Actually, I'm not strong...but the every day angels that hold me up are.
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Jesus...This was even difficult for me to read. It took me awhile to read it, I can only imagine how painful it must have been..but like I told you before;;you are a survivor. And never forget what you've been through yet never hold on to it enough to destroy you. You must be built again.
...Simply Me♥ -
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You can't forget, because the scars are a part of you.
It won't...nothing can destroy me but God...if He so chooses. But I've been told, and want to believe, that if He destroys me, it is only because He wants to rebuild a better me.
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WOW! What a sad, bone chilling story. This has to be one brave soul. Your write is to be commended for giving to us the ability to see the world through a different set of eyes. So sad, and tragically so true. Thank you for sharing this touching saga of one who had to suffer for no reason.
Bless you and please accept a BIG HUG from someone you have never met who cares.
Ron
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Thank you so very much and...
Bravery implies that she had a choice, which she did not.
The story continues...someday I may compile and complete it...it was difficult to do this piece, and I think it will be awhile before I am able to do the next...hence the name "Retrospection".
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