my dust-caked boy,
i would have loved you
and
your eyes, now suns
sucked dry of light.
Author notes
bamidele, dead african child in the desert.
i have no idea where this came from. 17w.
In a list
A contest entry
- Just fabulous! by Gypsy-Princess.
400 points, ended May 14, 10 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i love criticism.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Thank you for entering my short poems contest. i was definitely lost on this poem. I could not get a picture or image in my mind on this one.
-
Oooh, definitely pretty and sad. You have a great way of making a very vivid scene in the mind and also evoking beautiful sadness into it. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true.
Lovely one! I want to meet a dust-caked boy now, wouldn't it be awesome?

Jeanette*~

-
-
i wouldn't mind a dusty boy if it were... hm, johnny depp? yes/no?
-
-
I know, I keep a photo similar to what you describe on my desk at work.
It's a touchstone for me.
Very powerful, understated and profound comment you are making... There is actually a word that means "dead African child in the desert?"
I like all of it... especially the dry lightless eyes.
Marlene -
-
no, there's no actual word that means that. bamidele is a yoruba name that means "follow me home."
-
-
Even more beautiful.
I think you should work this idea up into a longer poem... send it to powers that be or magazines like National Geographic or...
Marlene -
-
i have some ideas for future poems about africa and its people... i'm strongly considering joining the peace corps or finding non-religious missions to africa.
-
-
-
-
awwww this is so sad, and yet beautiful
lovely write and congrats on the trophy
take care
stephanie

-
Deeply profound and meaningful... x
-
Wow, this is so short but speaks volumes and its imagery is wonderful. Lovely poem.


1 - 10 of 10








