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bamidele

my dust-caked boy,
i would have loved you
and

your eyes, now suns
sucked dry of light.

Author notes

bamidele, dead african child in the desert.
i have no idea where this came from. 17w.

In a list

A contest entry

i love criticism.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Pollycheck silver member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my short poems contest. i was definitely lost on this poem. I could not get a picture or image in my mind on this one.
  • Oooh, definitely pretty and sad. You have a great way of making a very vivid scene in the mind and also evoking beautiful sadness into it. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. Lovely one! I want to meet a dust-caked boy now, wouldn't it be awesome?
    Jeanette*~


    • hiraeth
      May 20
      Edit | Reply
      i wouldn't mind a dusty boy if it were... hm, johnny depp? yes/no?

  • marlene47 silver member
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    I know, I keep a photo similar to what you describe on my desk at work.
    It's a touchstone for me.
    Very powerful, understated and profound comment you are making... There is actually a word that means "dead African child in the desert?"
    I like all of it... especially the dry lightless eyes.
    Marlene

    • hiraeth
      May 15
      Edit | Reply
      no, there's no actual word that means that. bamidele is a yoruba name that means "follow me home."

      • marlene47 silver member
        May 15
        Edit | Reply
        Even more beautiful.
        I think you should work this idea up into a longer poem... send it to powers that be or magazines like National Geographic or...
        Marlene

        • hiraeth
          May 15
          Edit | Reply
          i have some ideas for future poems about africa and its people... i'm strongly considering joining the peace corps or finding non-religious missions to africa.
  • awwww this is so sad, and yet beautiful
    lovely write and congrats on the trophy
    take care
    stephanie

  • Deeply profound and meaningful... x

  • Dienush Greeters member
    May 14
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is so short but speaks volumes and its imagery is wonderful. Lovely poem.

1 - 10 of 10