Let me take you people back a bit
back to July '03, back to a dream
A dream that brought my only hope
In a time of confusion and preparation
The setting of this dream: Winter, snow
The beginning I don't so well recall
It's the ending that made the difference
Through the park we strolled, arm in arm
a little hyper we were and easily distracted
Walking didn't sound as much fun as skipping
so skip through the park we did, laughing
Little did we notice the hazard up ahead
on the path, a little ways off was an icy patch
skipping along unawares, we both slipped
For her it was worse than I, though none serious
To be blamed I was by her, and I took it
without argument, her legs bruised, feelings
of responsibility and guilt, then a thought!
Without further words, I picked her up
as a mum would a toddler, her legs round
my waist, her head buried into my neck,
rested at the shoulder, arms holding tightly
and so I carried her, home to a place of restful warmth
At the bottom of the flat, the place was quiet
up the stairs slowly to the bustling 1st floor
though crowded nothing dangerous, just
various students having fun out of their rooms
past them all we travelled, until I counted 43
it was left unlocked, no need for a key
On the table I gently placed her,
in front of the fireplace, in silence
no reaction I got from my question
I leave to get her a drink anyway.
For a time I’m gone and I know
where I left her, she just stared.
Stared quietly in thought, directly
at the burning fire, as her body warmed
With time I return with two cups
as I hand her cup openly towards her
she suddenly turns and hugs me
hard, the cups drop, no longer needed
all that's left - two people locked
by tight arms, with no words needed.
Stopping our hug she pushed me away,
slowly and gently, then looking into my eyes,
she opened her mouth and said "...."
I awoke at the call of my father!
What was she going to say!
Now I’ll never know! But, it matters not.
The feelings of love, commitment, joy
and responsibility have carried forward
into this world, even if just for a brief time
and my heart now sings, with the memory of hope.
back to July '03, back to a dream
A dream that brought my only hope
In a time of confusion and preparation
The setting of this dream: Winter, snow
The beginning I don't so well recall
It's the ending that made the difference
Through the park we strolled, arm in arm
a little hyper we were and easily distracted
Walking didn't sound as much fun as skipping
so skip through the park we did, laughing
Little did we notice the hazard up ahead
on the path, a little ways off was an icy patch
skipping along unawares, we both slipped
For her it was worse than I, though none serious
To be blamed I was by her, and I took it
without argument, her legs bruised, feelings
of responsibility and guilt, then a thought!
Without further words, I picked her up
as a mum would a toddler, her legs round
my waist, her head buried into my neck,
rested at the shoulder, arms holding tightly
and so I carried her, home to a place of restful warmth
At the bottom of the flat, the place was quiet
up the stairs slowly to the bustling 1st floor
though crowded nothing dangerous, just
various students having fun out of their rooms
past them all we travelled, until I counted 43
it was left unlocked, no need for a key
On the table I gently placed her,
in front of the fireplace, in silence
no reaction I got from my question
I leave to get her a drink anyway.
For a time I’m gone and I know
where I left her, she just stared.
Stared quietly in thought, directly
at the burning fire, as her body warmed
With time I return with two cups
as I hand her cup openly towards her
she suddenly turns and hugs me
hard, the cups drop, no longer needed
all that's left - two people locked
by tight arms, with no words needed.
Stopping our hug she pushed me away,
slowly and gently, then looking into my eyes,
she opened her mouth and said "...."
I awoke at the call of my father!
What was she going to say!
Now I’ll never know! But, it matters not.
The feelings of love, commitment, joy
and responsibility have carried forward
into this world, even if just for a brief time
and my heart now sings, with the memory of hope.
Author notes
This poem tells like a story and needs little additional comment except that it is 100% true and it's amasing sometimes what dreams make u feel afterwards
Written December 21st, 2003
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel by LostInThought.
250 points, ended December 22, 2003, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Oooh! Now why do I like this poem so much. This is your best piece so far that I've read, and I wanna know what she said! I hate it when dreams do that to you, or people wake you up when you're in a real good dream. I don't have many so it's nice when I do have some. Talk soonish

I love you!
~Stephi-Dawne~ -
What a vivid picture you painted with this "dream". I found myself clinging onto the words to see what was going to happen next. I have an idea what she was going to say...perhaps one day I will tell you....
Great write, hunny! You have mad talent!!
Luv, Jenny
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I will say this one thing....In 2 years U will find out what she was to say* The number 3 signifies her discontent* A reckoning with U* Her bruises and her need to blame show U hurt her emotionally.....4 has this significance...These are the years first years * U finally made some ground 4 Years * The first floor....Students say to me * U learned many things of each other in this time. to reach this first level of understanding....The cups signify grievances * Things they held against one another * They were dropped * meaning * They passed a place of unforgivness* The fires and the Silence * signifies her pondering on the Pain the things that burnt her and urself* I beleive it was a mutual feeling of the burn on both ur parts in her eyes...at this point. Wait * The cups fell at the end* Meaning * After she looked into the fire * she stares at U in silence.....Then she let the cups that held the Pain drop and opened her mouth* To say....I would say* It would be * All is forgiven * ...let the cups bleed out the strife and begin again...this is my Read on the work....* It dosnt mean it is what I say* Its what I feel * its the interpretation from the objects and motions of what occurred.
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I dont know what to say,
I'm speachless, this is amazing......
God your so good at writing.
Amazing.
Well done, I dont know what else to say.
Luv Dani -
very good
Poetry and dreams seem to share a link that has come down through the ages and great literature has happened because of these nocturnal wanderings. I loved the poem and wonder why it took so long to record something that happened almost a year ago but I am glad it was recorded. -
man...that sounds so much like my dreams...cept I never know whether that guy kissed me or not...oh well...lol very nice...
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Excellent
Oh Wow, I really enjoyed your poem. Although it was all a dream, your love for this person seems compared to one. I really like how this was written, because in first it didn't seem like a dream. I was smoothly carried along line by line because everything was so descriptive. Great job with this Random.
May you keep writing & take care
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wow...this was great
a poem full of so much love..i love it
its a great write so sweet when u said skipping through the park
i could see the image of two ppl in love skipping through a park...very good write I loved it
good job
~Jen~ -
Very unique and interesting. I did sort of get confused about exactly happened to her. For a moment I thought so was going to die. I really enjoyed the ending though. So much love to be felt.
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Nice Poem- i like it how you are left hanging with wondering what was spoken at the end. VEry nice- great job
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I forgot to do this...
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Wonderful...
Wow...
Another great write by Random.
Beautiful freeform!!!
Well, off to read some more of your poems, will be on on & off...
Love your writes...
Goddess Bless,
Flames -
*breaks down crying.* (little overreaction can't break a heart ) But truly, this was one, if not the most, beautiful thing I've ever read. You write with a compassion and feeling that is rare to be found, and then you also write about a topic that is rare around here, and everywhere else on this world. I think I'm going to list this as my favorite poem all time. Not because of you personally, but because of the feeling you left me with.
Meh, now I am crying. Keep safe. I hope you didn't really feel this way, but if you did, and if you've learned from it, then I'm glad!
Ilse
Edited on Dec 28, 3:04 p.m. because ''. -
Wow, this is beautiful. The imagery is wonderful, I could actually see all that was going on. I'm so going to read more from you.
-Vampress -
good
This is really good. Its a nice lovely poem. Its very distriptive in a good way. It kinda reminds you of when your watching a chick flick and everything ends ahpply ever happy
Great write and keep up the good work.
Godbless
Jason
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wow this is SOOOOO great! i love it.
1 - 16 of 16








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