I
have been pillaged:
shaped to mountains that
descry the back-end of
an unanchored ship;
did not witness
the planetary.
From my linen, there is pith
in the scent crushed from
an impossible web of mass --
a theatric manifestation.
It is cupped between
bed of bodies, feeds
the fervid slam in hunger
like a mote stimulant;
emerges through union
as a God-hand.
There is a second gift
in its presence:
a gesture
of permanency outside
of vee-limbs and
fulmination; it is
the four letter word
that floods me, but not
the one that I'm screaming.
Author notes
So, I read every single word of this contest and I felt something click instantaneously, especially when I read "civilized people cannot fully satisfy their sexual instinct without love”. It made me think of a conversation I had with my ex-boyfriend: I told him love isn't all about sex; he argued that sex isn't about love. I almost pitied him for being so far off the mark; but that turned out to be the only part of our relationship that held any truth.
Honest feedback please - I've spent too much time on it to be able to tell what's what anymore!
In a list
A contest entry
- the language of intercourse and outercourse by Nicolette.
4500 points, ended June 1, 2008, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
SPIT IT OUT.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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when i read you, sometimes I feel like I should have a dictionary near by and that in itself is sexy
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Stunning
Exquisitely written - should have got the gold.
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I totally agree with Guy – this is indeed outstanding poetry, Allyce. I simply love your take on the contest theme as you’ve shown us what outercourse is NOT – good for you girl!
It absolutely warms my heart to see that the young women of today knows what they want and what real love and lovemaking is, lolol – BRAVO! Those last few lines are just fabulous. I don’t have much more to add – I think Guy has said it all. This is exactly what I was hoping to see in the contest. Excellent writing ( I hope a few men read this – and learn lolol)!!
Thank you for the entry.
~ Nicolette
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i like the juxtaposition of intellect with the 'fuck-me-boneless' grit of this piece.
also easy to see how he transitioned to 'ex' status. lolol
some people would say you have swallowed a dictionary, but my answer is no...you give birth to them
and, to a hell of a lot of fantabulous poetry, Allyce
outstanding!
thanks for entering
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damn, your smart.
I want to be you when I grow up~ okay, a big if on growing up. lol.
I really felt the 'fervid slam' right between my ribs.
Stunning, really. Can't think of anything to critique, hon.
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"it is
the four letter word
that floods me, but not
the one that I'm screaming."
I have been here to read this one a few times...I needed to let it sink in, esp..with your vocabulary, I had to look some words up
..lol..
I think this is excellent. it leaves a lot for the reader to think about..I know the four letter words...
this is awesome & ssoooo unique & creative and totally unexpected where you took this contest prompt..I love it...best of luck in the contest
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! I love it when people come back
Glad you know the four letter words, or the poem would be futile
Weeeeeee!
Thank you
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my pleasure
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I would have to say this may be the best poem I've read about sex in a long time. Your last stanza is very passionate without being painfully obvious. I really loved it. especially the last couple of lines.
"...it is
the four letter word
that floods me, but not
the one that I'm screaming."
Amazing the different perspectives people can have about the the two l-words. I'd wish you luck in the contest, but with this piece, I don't think you'll need it >pixxie<
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You are too good to me
Thanks
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Banal fulfillment of sexual desire does become rather meaningless without true and intimate caring. The bond of true love rarely sets immediately, and often takes years to form, but only after much hard work and commitment. A cynical society and moral degradation is greatly to blame I believe. Look at older couples who are seemingly of one mind and spirit, who were raised in a generation that valued morals and you will see true love.
A most interestingly introspective write my dear, and best of luck in the contest.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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Exactly what I'm thinking! The aforementioned debate started when watching a programme that suggested that women of today have become "sexually empowered" - in that sex with no strings attached is becoming more common and socially acceptable. Personally, I can't relate to the notion - I must be old-fashioned to think that morals are important
Thanks for your comment
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Comments on authors notes and the poem
This is a very interesting piece of work. I love the style and the flow of the story which really made me concentrate more than I tend to. In fact I read it and read it and in doing so I was left feeling inspired. Great work. As for the authors notes I totally agree, with her comments.
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You really manage to capture that eternal paradox that seems to plague so many couples. Love and sex vary and are different things at different times to different people. Like many things, it may be in giving that more is received.
This is well written and I like your subtle sensuality which you approach indirectly and in layers.
Good luck in the contest.
Garrison
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