Lost everything that mattered,
Our friendship's been torn.
My life has been shattered,
I lie here and mourn.
Everything I've known,
Has been tossed astray,
Now I'm walking alone,
Day after day.
I'm falling down,
Crashing to the ground,
Can someone help pick me up?
I can't take this anymore,
I never promised you a grin.
You've pushed me onto the cold hard floor,
Well, I never promised you a rose garden.
Maybe my smiles all were fake,
From this mask I've been hiding in
But thinking it was too much to take?
Well, I never promised you a rose garden.
Why'd you have to leave,
When I needed you there?
Now you lie and decieve.
Act like you don't even care.
You used to hold me tight,
Now you caused me to fall,
Things used to be alright,
Now I'm feeling so small,
I've fallen down,
Crashed to the ground,
No one will help pick me up.
I can't take this anymore,
I never promised you a grin.
You've pushed me onto the cold hard floor,
Well, I never promised you a rose garden.
Maybe my smiles all were fake,
From this mask I've been hiding in
But thinking it was too much to take?
Well, I never promised you a rose garden.
And I never promised you
A rose garden.
Author notes
my name is brightsmylesxx
Option 1
Quote: I never promised you a rose garden
A contest entry
- To Laugh and/or Cry by rhyana.
525 points, ended June 12, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Titles and Quotes Options--FINAL EXTENSION by Viyanna Rosemarie.
300 points, ended June 5, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think!!!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
not a bad lyrical piece...feels like it could really work with the right music supporting it.
without music it seems stale. phrasing is a little simple. deceive follows the i before e except after c rule.
a lot of current pop/rock songs are pretty simple word-wise though. so it's not necessarily a bad thing.
-
This sounds like a song.
Anyways, yes
this was very descriptive of pain
hurts and fakeness of a teenager and
actually anyone else. Very well done.
..Simply Me♥ -
good job...truly describes the pain of being betrayed by a friend
peace, love, & cheese -
nicely written, but i don't understand why you would repeat the same two lines like you did, in the last two lines. overall, it was a well penned piece. the emotion was evident and genuine, not cheesy or full of angst (which would have been too much for this poem). well done.
-
This is really good the rythem was really flowing I enjoyed reading this!
~Ocean~ -
The title of your poem is also the name of a country song.
-
-
yes I know, that was the prompt.
-
-
The first thing I noticed when I was reading this, was that the rhyming was really great. I'm 12 too, but I honestly doubt that I'd be able to do that. You've really created a picture here, and I can really relate to this. I've got a friend and "I never promised you a rose garden" is something I can imagine me saying. Well done
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
