The serene blue sky is melting
Monstrous grey clouds loom over and stay
My essence, life as I know it, is over
For eternity, I am cursed, to live out this day
Sqauwk! That wretched demon crow cries!
Bleary eyed, I awaken from a restless slumber
Up now, staggering blindly to the bathroom mirror
In the reflection...hellfire raging, Bealzeebub has my number
Straining my memory, trying to recall last nights actions
Seeing the room stripped bare, such horrors arise
Blood and terror, the Gateway to Hell left wide open
Alone in the dark, for a soul like mine, there is no reprise
Cries of terror, fear and anguish
Ring out in the fiery chasms of a desolate hell
But nothing affects me, it all seems so right
His vassal, my body, Lucifer's personal shell
Hellfire rushes by, debris flying here and there
Stripping Hell of its ugly demeanour
My body slumps on the floor, my gaze turned from that accursed mirror
Back to my room, my dimension, coud HIS wrath come any meaner?
It matters not what I say or do
For the time of judgement is all but nigh
My soul is broken, I know which side I fight upon
Slaughter the innocent, make the angels cry
Glancing back at that mirror, I hear the tortured screams
Innocent souls, lost unto oblivion, an eternal pain
All by my bloody hands, enough blood hath been spilt
To release my master, from his prison, to rule this world...once again.
A contest entry
- Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 2009, 981 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think, I really do want some honest feedback
Comments
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Yikes - this was powerful and hard hitting, very descriptive .... There's a feeling of lots of work gone into this - I have no critique to offer.
There was one section, though, to be honest, that didn't ring quite right -
@Back to my room, my dimension, coud HIS wrath come any meaner?" <-- come any meaner, whilst I see where you're going with it, just doesn't SOUND like it makes sense, but perhaps that was the effect you guys were aiming for?
Nice job, thanks for entering
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Oh yes..... This is a collaberation!!!! Between me and Star-Of-David
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Just wondering where on the page that we collaberated on this piece is....i did work a lot on this lol i want SOME credit lol
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