A beautiful smile turns to self hate
Trying desperately to undo her fate
She doesn't want to cut, she has no choice
She doesn't want to talk but she's 'blessed' with a voice
Tell me Jesus, if you really cared
How many lives would you have spared
Would you have vanquished the blade away
Would that same girl be alive today
The blood could've ceased, formed a clot
The bullet wouldn't have been shot
Self inflicted at her head
Father God, there's nothing you can do if i want to be dead.
A contest entry
- AP FAMILY STARTING by forever and ever.
300 points, ended June 25, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you guys think this is too blamatory?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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this is quite deep, well written. the rhyme is slightly odd at the end though
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I normally don't like poems with these subjects,
but I really loved this one. Full of emotions and an amazing beauty flow off from your words.
really well done
Phaethon
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idk what that means....but definately not. it was great!! only thing hun....you didn't tell me what you wanted to be. great write though. i loved it!!
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no it doesnt have too much blame. i think it's really good.
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Blamatory... is not an actual word. Lol.
I found it on Urban Dictionary though!
I'm not really into the whole cutting scene,
but I can look past it and what I see
is a great poem.
You have quite the skill when it comes to rhyming. -
Ohh..
This is really hardcore. Really different from what I've read so far. But very good, nonetheless!!! Congratulations, I have goose bumps now...LOL! Joking. I think that this was very profound, in a way. The way the will of one is unstoppable...
Thank you for recommending me your page!
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50 - 50
well done -
Nicely done. It is dark and I do not think it is too blamatory. Your question is one that has been asked over and over throughout time. I look forward to reading more.
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hey.. if you want some more reading, read my testimonial of a serial cutter =]
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thankz ash!
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OMG loving this nu 1 sez!!
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beautiful
She doesn't want to talk but she's 'blessed' with a voice
I can not tell you how many times during my depression (over since June 2007) I have felt exactly that. Just wishing I was born mute so finally people would stop pushing me to talk.
Your poem makes me want the ability to grand teardrops just as applauses. You definitely deserve them for this poem, beautiful!!!!!
(teardrop) (teardrop) (teardrop)
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